by: Frances Maloney
It is written of Mary of Magdala, that, after the disciples had returned to their homes, Mary lingered like a humming bird before the silent face of the tomb, weeping. “And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb and saw two angels in white sitting there, one at the head and one at the feet where the body of Jesus had been. And they said to her, “woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I don’t know where they have laid him.”
I am that woman. And so, I am deeply grateful to Mary Flynn, Katherine, and Suzanne, and to all of you who grieve Frank’s passing, for allowing me to join you in this company of mourners. Frank and I did not attend Frank’s parents’ funerals, because Frank chose not to go without me, and I wasn’t sober.
Frank was merciful and kind, honest and true, first with himself and with God, then with all of us, indeed with all creatures, great and small.
Rabbi Rami M. Shapiro has provided this prayer for bride and groom that I think was fulfilled in our marriage:
“Dear God,
You have brought this couple together
that they might risk the joys and sorrows of love.
They have said “yes” to You and to each other.
We now ask that you bless them
with love and compassion
righteousness and truth.
Guide them in ways of deep and loving
friendship that they may forever
cherish, honor, uphold and sustain
each other and the divine image
that is our deepest self.”
Ma, that is, Frank’s mother (of blessed memory), taught me to pray, “Thank you, God, for all you have given me, for all you have taken away, and, for all you have left me.
Left me, are vital memories, full of Frank’s spirit and likeness. For example, one day, when we lived in Ann Arbor, a bee appeared in our apartment. I was terrorized and called on Frank to save us. Well, Frank took what seemed like an hour to tackle that bee, amused at my distress. Anxiety turned to wonder as I watched him carefully collect the bee into the palm of his hand and lovingly escort the bee outside, a sweet man doing a sweet thing.
Like Frank himself, the honey bee
The humble, the lowly honey bee
Needed to feed the earth
Needed to feed the earth.
By his spirit and example, his farmer’s faith and heart of a fisherman, Frank drew me to something better than I had ever known, becoming my personal rock, my personal redeemer.
Remembering the concluding line of a poem by Langston Hughes, as reads, “Yet you never know, when a woman like me is free.” I testify that I never want to be free from the Love of God, as expressed by my only husband to his only wife.
Frank was patient, Frank was kind
Frank was glad for the well-being
and success of others, such as
his brother Joe, who was a
blessed father and grandfather
Frank envied no one
Frank was generous, unassuming,
faithful, devoted
Not egotistical, not ‘in your face’
Not rude, never selfish
Frank’s heart was a vessel of gratitude
Frank was slow to take offense,
harbored no resentments
Frank was merciful and forgave in truth
Frank was moral
Frank was ethical
Frank did Matthew 25:34-36
Frank was courageous and brave
Frank bore all things, believed all things,
Hoped all things
Endured all things.
Francis Albert Dynan nearly died in infancy. In Vietnam, he was flown around in helicopters packed with explosives. Surviving these, Frank never missed, for an instant, his work as an instrument of peace, in thought and deed.
Frank and I never parted without desire and hope to behold each other again.
Francis Albert Dynan, how do I love thee? I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the ends of Being and ideal Grace -, and, if God choose, precious, gracious, loving, compassionate man, my Rabbouni – I shall love thee better after death.
Ed.Note: Francis Jean Maloney served in the United States Army as did Frances Albert Dynan. They met while serving together in Germany and married. After several years, they divorced, but in spite of their legal status they remained friends and remained married and true to one another for the rest of their lives.
Francis Maloney came from an amazing family. Her mother was the first African American to perform with a major symphony orchestra in the United States and her father was Surgeon General of Liberia. Frances was homeless for a time. What she experienced and suffered should make all of us think about how we treat those who served these United States. She is currently on the board of Bettina Network Foundation, inc. and is a tremendous asset to the Foundation and everything it does.
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An Intensely Religious Week
Thursday, April 17th, 2014copyright Bettina Network, inc. 2014
Intensely Religious – how do we turn that into – gloriously Spiritual! I hope it is not the intensely religious who have brought about so much bigotry in the world and the gloriously Spiritual who have given us so much freedom! Maybe my values are a bit screwed.
It is one of those years when the religious celebrations around Spring are shared in close date proximity by several Religious faiths. That doesn’t always happen. After the winter we had and after the destructive forces hitting at the economy and the terrorists hitting at all of us it is no surprise that this Spring season finds some of our religions practically intertwined date-wise.
Within all of this hectic ceremonial time – and there is now a lot of ceremony going on all over the place – with its requirement of watching our diets; scheduling around many religious services – there came that still small voice in the form of guests in one of the Bettina Homes. It was such a reprieve and a taking back to what we are all about and what is really important that we found ourselves being really grateful for the reminder.
A family came from England to America to witness to the life of a friend, and isn’t that what it is all about. To take time from very busy lives; to spend money traveling to another country for just a few days to say by your physical presence that this person mattered. He was important to us and our lives and we want to just stand with a group of his friends to give witness to his life. In that small act – which today isn’t so small when you consider that most of us would be worried that our lives would fall apart if we took time out to do such a thing and we could better spend the money on something for our family – these guests and friends, by their presence and the reason for their visit, gave me reassurances about the goodness of humans who can still sometimes come through with what is most important in life in still, small ways.
I am now ready for these Spring Religious Holidays. I can get through all of the trappings because I know there are people who still care and get it right. I am human and sometimes frail and one day I won’t be here anymore. Will anyone witness to my life? Did I reach out and live so that someone will stop and in the silence give thanks that I lived?
We are fast becoming a society where we don’t and won’t take that time away from the hectic busyness in which we constantly involve ourselves to keep from becoming conscious of the fact that we are slowly and sometimes at a faster pace marching to our own deaths. We go to great lengths to cover-up that fact so we are not conscious of our limits as humans. We walk across and away from those who have no home; those who are not so successful; those who are not interested in getting caught up in that busy, busy cycle of life. We can’t after all be around those who would remind us of our own humanness.
I give thanks today for the family that took just a couple days to acknowledge the importance of the life of another human being.
Ed Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.
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Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.
Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.
Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.
Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net
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Tags: bed & breakfast, Bettina Homes, Bettina Network's Lifestyle Community, Bettina's Hall of Fame, breakfast table talk, growing old, Guest Comments, Making Connections, Spiritual Reflection, Who are the Bettina Families
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