Marceline, don’t just read this and cast it aside, I am writing it and sending it to you for Bettina Network’s Blog. Someone should write your biography. As I saw Kamala Harris I thought about you and had to sit down with my pen before I got involved in something else and this moment would not come again.
We need a Truth and Reconciliation moment as all of this will only accelerate. It is a time during which much history will be forgotten or re-written to satisfy those who want to keep society as it is, but will effect change – for the moment.
When I saw Kamala Harris on that stage, I thought of Marceline Donaldson. I know, I know, you like to write, talk and think about others, but it is time you reflected on your life.
My first thought was that the two of you look enough alike that you could be mother and daughter. And then I realized that was a racist thought because what you have in common physically is your hair and color. Otherwise, you are very different and to realize your hair commonalities one had to know you way back when – before you turned gray.
We have been friends long enough for me to know your first analysis of Kamala Harris would be her clothes style – not southern, not new england, not mid-western, but very decidedly California.
Your second thought was probably to think – she didn’t take ballet lessons and all the rest as a child to force herself into that ‘constrained southern lady’ thing. I say thank goodness. Don’t remember what you would say because you were usually all over the map about that.
I thought immediately of the Truth and Reconciliation Task Force because when I first saw Kamala Harris come onto that stage I started crying and couldn’t stop. I knew I was not alone because I was sure you were doing the same thing. I remembered all the many times this white woman cried with you, for you, and for myself. We will probably be crying for months at the least little things because much of what we experienced has been pent up for decades. It will take more than this for the dam to break, but hopefully, shortly, enough will happen for all of those pushed down feelings that we all have, to erupt.
My pain does not begin to be the huge pains you carry, because I didn’t put myself out the way you did – and probably still do. I want to put out in public just a few because what individual women have gone through just to exist and move ahead in this world needs to be aired. I hope others follow this example and will send you their stories. That kind of pain needs to be shared because those who caused it go around without a thought as to what they did and what they are doing to other human beings just because those others are women. And I mean women and men have caused enormous pain and agony to each other.
The memory I won’t ever forget = can’t forget was being in your brokerage office – Dain, Kalman & Quail, inc. – trying to become one of your clients. You had just become the first African American stock broker in Minnesota. I believe you were the first in the country, even though several African American men have been knocking themselves out to prove otherwise. Don’t know if you knew that, but they approached me trying to get my cooperation. A book or something like it is being written to wipe you out of history.
In that stock brokerage/financial investment office, that day I began to realize the enormity of the problems you were facing and would face and the almost insurmountable obstacles that are thrown in all of our paths on a daily basis. Just to keep us in our place – “less than”. And you as a black woman have had to face unbelievable times. Well “almost black woman” – (howls of laughter from me – a sort of private joke).
Into the office, while I was waiting to see you, came a group of black men. They demanded to see the president and were apparently known by a couple people in the office. They were ushered right into the presidents office. I didn’t know them, but as talk went around me I understood they were the heads of the local offices of a few national civil rights organizations and one was there – brought by the others – to be your replacement. They were in the office that day to demand that you be fired and this black man be hired in your place because of the incredible, horribleness of your having been hired over a black man in the first place.
They expressed their indignation at your being a stock broker and what an insult that was to Black men all over. They wanted you fired and they brought along with them one of the Babington-Johnson brothers as someone who should have been hired instead of you. The fact that you walked into the office and applied for the job, backed by Lillian Anthony as your reference and a few other black and white brothers and sisters meant nothing to them. The fact that the Babington-Johnson brother hadn’t thought about applying for such a job and wasn’t doing that now, but was going along with this kind of awfulness meant nothing to them.
One was head of the Minneapolis Urban Coalition – on which you were a member of the board. We went to a few board meetings together. Another was head of the Mpls Urban League. One was a “gad fly” who worked for one of the large companies – a utility company, I think – whose demeanor I never liked. Never did learn who the others were.
While I sat and waited for you – thank goodness you were no place near to hear all of this – I got to hear the meeting and it was a list of grievances and outrageous insults and put downs of black men with this one topping the list.
I hadn’t thought of that before. I had always thought of black men as allies in this fight for women’s rights. That day changed all of that.
When they left the office, I did too. I couldn’t face anyone after that so I went home. I was so upset it took days for me to settle down. I left that office a strong feminist, although that was not who I was when I went there looking for you. I had been to a luncheon panel discussion on investment at a local hotel – don’t remember which one – an investment luncheon which you organized and led and I was high on women now being equal after that brief time. I should have known better, but I was quite young and ‘unexposed’ never having been in a civil rights fight or organization before that.
Those black men demanding you be fired and a black man hired in your stead did something to me from which I have never recovered. Before witnessing that meeting I was quite shy about calling myself a feminist. After, I have been a proud feminist to this day. And as such a supporter of Kamala Harris for as long as I can participate in this society’s politics.
I hope others follow this example and let the Dam break with the flood of stories of what women – white, black, brown, yellow, red, etc. – have experienced in this life so men could assume the mantle of “superiority over” women and not have to work hard for their “better than” identity. And I hope all women realize it is not only white men who have this “better than” need and whose egos can be bruised quickly by a woman exerting the fact that she is their “equal.” To break the stereotype of women as always held up and respected “on a pedestal”, “motherhood uber alles”, our job being to take care of the home and family while men go out to work, etc. And lets not even begin to go into the stereotype of black women.
Haven’t used your “better than” quotes, but I will do so now extensively. Maybe a little late to the party, but my memories are going to flood out to whoever, wherever I can share them. Unfortunately, they are the memories of an observer rather than of someone who participated in change, but maybe today I can correct that before I leave this earth.
A Response by a Bettina Member
Thursday, December 5th, 2019First – I am young, white and male. I need to put that out front so you know something about where I am coming from. I am also a scientist who has been using Bettina Network for several years and look forward to my time spent in one of your homes in Harvard Square – it is my favorite place to go. I get the education in that house that I didn’t get at home and I get to stay in real luxury surroundings at the same time – something I also did not get to do at home.
I read Marceline’s article on Kamala Harris and there are things I would like to add that she did not say. Things I researched after many breakfasts in her home which just blew my mind. Mostly, about telling the truth.
To tell the truth about Kamala Harris means to say that she was one of those who supported Barack Obama from the beginning. At the beginning of Obama’s candidacy, when others were looking elsewhere, Kamala Harris was strong in using her time and other resources to work towards getting Obama elected president. She has yet to be given credit for that. What blows my mind is the fact that so called “older blacks” are supporting Joe Biden because of his closeness to Obama. How such is that?
That should not be such a surprise to me because I noticed over the years African Americans are not great supporters of Bettina Network. I have yet to meet one using this network and my conversations with those I know blow my mind. A couple African Americans I know and who are friends of mine would rather stay in lesser accommodations and pay more than to stay at the Bettina Network. They don’t articulate why, but after a short conversation it becomes clear they do not give much credit to a company owned by another African American, especially a woman. Given that I have some understanding as to why blacks are not supporting Kamala Harris. To support their own seems to be a negative to just about every African American I have met. This is an article, after all, in which I am determined to tell the truth as I see it in this life. If that violates you or makes you angry so be it. I have had to struggle years to be able to face life as it is rather than as it is described to me for me to believe as the truth.
To tell the truth about Joe Biden, which few are doing, means to say that he was not one of those supporting Barack Obama when Kamala Harris was out on the campaign trail doing exactly that. My research shows that from the very beginnings of Barack Obama’s campaign there was Kamala Harris doing everything she could to support his candidacy.
It is to admit that Biden was instrumental in seeing that Thurgood Marshall was followed by Clarence Thomas – and that is who “older blacks” are supporting instead of supporting Kamala Harris? I was too young to remember the hearings, but I went back to read about what happened when Clarence Thomas was put on the Supreme Court and it was vile and who was instrumental in seeing that happen? Pictured in newspaper clippings as chair of the panel that made sure Thomas was exonerated enough to be elected to the Supreme Court – Joe Biden. So now we have to live with him on the Supreme Court without acknowledging who was instrumental in making that happen.
To tell the truth means to talk out loud without being intimidated to say Joe Biden treated a black woman – Anita Hill – disgracefully, and this is the man being promoted as the successor of Barack Obama? The man promoted as the next president while Kamala Harris’ campaign is suspended? I do not wonder why we now have Donald Trump as president. Sometimes I wonder if he is not who we deserve.
To tell the truth means to point out the upset and upheaval that happened when Elizabeth Warren was, briefly, the front runner in the Democrat’s primary presidential campaign. Such furor and upset was palpable. A flurry of activity and out comes Michael Bloomberg and even DeVal Patrick running into the campaign to stop what looked like an election getting out of control – how? a woman was then the front runner taking control out of the hands of the white males who normally oversee and dictate such things whether they be Republican or Democrat. That should have been done generations ago, but we are still here fighting the same battles we have been fighting for generations. I hope it stops with my generation. At least there seems to be some hope after we have seen an African American man as president doing an outstanding job followed by an out of control White man who someone said wears “clown shoes” and will engage in treason to keep himself up front and in control because his ego needs that. The job he does is irrelevant, only a by-product of his stage settings for himself. And that job includes turning the United States Government into a criminal enterprise over which he rules as the godfather? Is this what I am inheriting?
All of a sudden there were people coming out from all corners to stop Elizabeth Warren. The last time I saw anything like that was when it looked as though Hillary Clinton might win and out came even Russia and Vladimir Putin to stop that and stop her becoming president even if they had to sully the process to achieve their goal.
We don’t tell the truth. And so we help elect the likes of Donald Trump. The man whose closest long term adviser is Steven Miller – a Jew who hates other Jews and has promoted and helped to bring about things that were prevalent during Hitler’s reign and Nazi Germany. Just like Trump’s mentor Roy Cohn who was a gay man who hates gays.
To tell the truth means that we have a straight line we can draw in our government from Joe McCarthy of “communist” days straight through to Donald Trump. I heard at many breakfasts how Trump learned at the feet of Cohn and McCarthy and as my research bore that out I was stunned. That is not something I would have put together otherwise.
We have constantly had to fight such people and why? Is it because we put forth a scenario which skewers the truth and puts forth instead a story line which is meant to manipulate the voting public into a stance that we want which will maintain the system as it is rather than tell the truth to gain a fully functioning system open to all which reflects the equality we claim to be about?
We had a senator in Joe McCarthy who was rumored to be a total drunk and yet he had lots of support as he careened all over the place making life a living hell for many, seeing to it that their lives were upheaveled, their jobs lost, their beliefs lied about for the convenience of the many who wanted to see the kind of “purge” McCarthy undertook. I didn’t realize until my stay in a Bettina home the connection between McCarthy, Cohn and Trump. There was even talk about the role Robert Kennedy had sitting at McCarthy’s right hand as he made his way up the political ladder. I heard it at a breakfast seminar and still didn’t believe it until I did my own research and the shock that this is my country and this is what we are about hit with crude power and I have not been the same since.
I could go on for pages, but this is what we need in this country – tell the truth and deal with the consequences. What a totally refreshing idea. Maybe then we wouldn’t have to worry about the “billionaire group” who deserve to be a part of this society also. And we wouldn’t have to worry about the feminists, or the lesbians, or the homosexual males, or the angry blacks, or the immigrants, or……… All people we have in our immediate families – well, maybe not all, but certainly one or two. We can have family dinners with them, but not allow them to be an equal part of our lives. Is that why our family lives are so screwed up? To be better than, we have to hide and/or try to change those who share our genes?
Maybe when I get a bit older I will understand and join this group, but now, as a young person I hope I continue learning and speaking truth. It is freeing like nothing else. At least if I decided to support Joe Biden it would be after I knew the truth about his history and who he is today. But even so I agree with you Marceline, I would rather support someone like Kamala Harris for president. I was lukewarm about her until I read your article. Today, I would like to be one of her supporters.
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Tags: #KamalaHarris, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Presidential Primary
Posted in #DonaldTrump, #meToo, Anita Hill, Barack Obama, Bettina Network, Bettina Network Educational Institute, Bettina Network Hedge Schools, Bettina Network's Lifestyle Community, Clarence Thomas, Donald Trump, Feminism, Guest comments, Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Nazism, President Obama, racism, sexism | Comments Off on A Response by a Bettina Member