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Archive for the ‘Historical Support’ Category

Veterans’ Day – 2012

Saturday, November 17th, 2012
Memorial Church - Harvard University

Memorial Church – Harvard University

copyright Bettina Network, inc. 2012 – by Marceline Donaldson

We celebrated Veterans Day by piling all of our guests into our car and their car and going to Memorial Church in Harvard Yard.

It was a great day for everyone.  Memorial Church was dedicated in 1932 to the memory of the Harvard dead of World War I and now also contains memorials of the dead of World War II, Korea, Vietnam, and the graduates of Radcliffe College who died in World War I.  So it was the 80th anniversary of Memorial Church.

There were prayers for many illustrious names which you can recognize as being solidly a part of the New England Establishment – we prayed for Coolidges, Appletons, Nobles, Peabody’s, Woodworth’s, Ferris’ and of course, Gomes, Pusey, and Lowell, among others.  I prayed for Mary Daly, whose sermon on a Sunday in Memorial Church caused many to rethink and changed lives, for Benjamin Mays from Morehouse College and so many more who chose uncomfortable – sometimes painful lives instead of comfortable existences which they could have had but for the prophetic pull which determined their life’s path and brought them to the pulpit of Memorial Church.  Each, out of their own lives issued challenges from that most traditional of Churches.

President Drew Faust was present because it was also the day of the Institution Service for the new minister of Memorial Church.  Rev. Peter Gomes died last year and his loss was huge. Rev. Jonathan L. Walton is the new minister and if the few remarks he made during the service were any indication of what to expect in the future his should be an interesting and thought provoking ministry, challenging many.  He started his sentences with “We come to honor a Palestinian Jew who was executed…..”  If that is any indication of his preaching, pastoring and prophetic sides his tenure at Memorial Church should be inspiring and challenging.

The bell tolled “In Memory of Voices that are Hushed” and in the process an honor guard  of Harvard ROTC students placed a wreath of laurel in the Memorial Room.

After the service, the reception was right where you were seated in the Church.  We just mingled while Harvard students who worked as waiters and waitresses served wonderful small edibles – savory and sweet along with drinks.  It was an unusual ending since such receptions are held in another room or in the basement or someplace out of the way.  To just stand-up at the end of the service to see Harvard students serving you as you greeted those you haven’t seen in a long time or talked about the service, or listened to others talk about the new minister was a new and different ending.  Hopefully, the spirit which filled Memorial Church on November 11th will continue.

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Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

Politics at Breakfast? I’m Shocked

Sunday, September 23rd, 2012

copyright Bettina Network, inc. 2012

You know there would be talk about the coming election over a Bettina Network breakfast table with the media talking Romney and Obama 24/7.

You have something to say?  Come to breakfast after a stay in one of the homes in the Bettina Network, inc.  We don’t put your name in the blog when we take the ideas you discussed over breakfast so you can feel free to say whatever.  Not every conversation winds up in a Bettina Network Blog, only those we feel are ‘hot’ or ‘interesting’ or ‘unusual’ or bring another fact to life which we feel you should know about.

The question asked over this breakfast table was WHY the media is missing the real story in this election and not printing what the public should know!  And what did they think the public should know?

In the interest of full disclosure, only one person at the table was a Romney supporter and he came to pick up his friend to show him around the area.  He was invited to stay for breakfast and he stayed until almost noon!  It was quite a conversation.

First discussed was the major reason for voting for Obama – what was that?  RYAN!  What happens, if God forbid, something happens to a President Romney.  RYAN BECOMES PRESIDENT RYAN!  Isn’t that the major role the Vice President plays? – President in waiting? He or she does other things in the process of waiting, — in case, — but that is the Vice President’s major role – and several have played that role over their tenure in the White House!

Second thing discussed was religion!  It was not an anti-Mormon discussion, but one the discussers felt was rooted in fact and their considerable concern about electing Romney president.  He is, apparently, a high official in the Mormon Church, at least equivalent to the Bishops in the Catholic Church.

No one around the table would have had a problem in the 1960’s voting for John F. Kennedy – a Catholic – for president.  They would not have voted for and would have actively worked against the election of Cardinal Cushing for President.   Kennedy, according to the person speaking, was an ordinary citizen who happened to be a Catholic and was not beholden to the Pope.  His views were his views and he had not taken any kind of oath to defer to the wishes of the Pope on any issue. Before making any decision Kennedy was not beholden nor would anyone expect him to call to consult the Pope, if the issue were one which collided with the beliefs of the Catholic Church.  Cardinal Cushing, on the other hand, had taken such an oath and his first fealty was to his Pope because of his position as Cardinal.  He would not have been confirmed or ordained a Cardinal if he had refused to take such an oath.

Romney is a Mormon.  He is not a Mormon the way John F. Kennedy was a Catholic.  He is a Mormon the way Cardinal Cushing was a Catholic – his first fealty is to his Mormon religion, which means the people at the top of the Mormon Church are the ones he listens to and the ones whose decisions and beliefs he could not violate or go against.  The United States comes second.  He is not free to make decisions contrary to his Church’s religious beliefs and tenets because he is the equivalent to a Bishop or above in the Mormon Church and he has taken such an oath to abide by all the beliefs and issues of faith which his religion dictates.

We have all danced around this issue.  We have all been trying to exercise this country’s promise of religious freedom.  It is not practicing religious freedom to elect someone as President or to any other office in this country who does not practice the religious freedom this country preaches.  He cannot claim religious freedom when he is in a Church which does not carry that belief as one of its tenets, but believes that Mormonism is the true religion and everyone else is going to hell 0r is amongst the damned.

If Romney is in the pew, maybe he believes that and maybe he doesn’t, maybe he follows his church’s teachings and maybe he doesn’t.  Romney is not in the pew as an ordinary member of his Church.  He is an official of the Church at the level of Bishop – he has pledged an oath to his Church and its leaders that he does indeed believe that Mormonism is the true religion and it is his duty to proselytize and do whatever he can to bring others out of ‘darkness’ into the ‘light’.  It is his calling to move to help save John and Jane Q Public from eternal damnation.  Who are John and Jane Q. Public?  Those who are not current practicing members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints.

Third discussion was about Romney’s claimed business experience and how he will use it to bring all of us into a fantastic, beautifully functioning economy.  The discussion was basically along the lines of – if he can’t do that for his own campaign, which is small compared to the United States of America, how can he do that for this country?  According to one person around the table, Romney’s campaign was a mess and has been for weeks with Romney not able to pull off or manage a well functioning campaign.

Others commented that his money is not what he is earning through his management skills, but what his money is earning on investments. One person claimed Romney earned the money and that gives him credibility as a manager.  Others claimed Romney has not been engaged in management for at least six years – and probably longer.  And – to our shock – what came out was that his family money – on which he is now earning money – did not come from Romney’s earnings nor his father’s earnings, but from the Mexican Government.  Without that start the Romney’s would not have made it as high as they did financially.  Apparently, the Romney family sued the Mexican Government and received a substantial settlement before moving back to the United States with their multiple wives.

What an amazing bit of learning!  I would like to know more about that because I thought the Romney fortune came from the Father’s work in Detroit with the automobile industry and I assumed his father had worked hard to pull himself up by his bootstraps, as had most immigrants coming to this country.  Apparently, Romney – the father,  had a head start, which some claimed was how he rose to the top. – He was not a destitute person coming from Mexico with no money and turning that into another Horatio Alger story.  He and his family came well heeled from their encounter with the Mexican Government.

Wow!  I must refill my organic coffee cup and ponder these things!

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Learn More About How We Use Your Donation!

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______________________________________________________________

Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

In Memory of Roger Fisher

Tuesday, August 28th, 2012

by:  Marceline Donaldson

Sprinkled through Bettina Network’s Blog you will find memories of people we knew and with whom we have interacted over the years.  This time, it is someone who was one of those – along with Larry Susskind of MIT – who were majorly responsible for the growth and survival of Bettina Network, inc.

Roger Fisher was on my mind over the past week – because I wanted to thank him for helping us begin and move forward with the bed & breakfast part of this business.  I didn’t know where to find him and didn’t push to discover his whereabouts so the newspaper informed me this morning of Roger Fisher’s death.

A long time ago, in 1984, Roger Fisher and Larry Susskind turned up at our front door to talk about the possibility of using Bettina’s for their guests coming from around the world.  I remember Roger Fisher sitting in our living room when one of those working with him took me aside to ask if I knew we were entertaining “God”.  That was my introduction to Roger Fisher.  My response was – then “God” has come to the right place because we are building heaven’s annex.  Clearly, we understood there were at least two major ego’s in that room that day!

We were just starting this business and unlike those who claim to have started on a shoe string of maybe $10,000 in debt, we started this business with some $1,000,000 in debt.  I had no idea what I was doing – I knew why – I thought I really knew all there was to know about business – we had some experience with bed & breakfast in another house, but not much – so here we were not sure where we would land, how we would pull this off or where to turn and “God” walked into our living room.

Roger Fisher and Larry Susskind sent us lots of guests and set the tone for what we would become.  Larry and Leslie would come to stay when the weather was bad and they couldn’t make it to Southborough.  Unfortunately for us, they now live in Cambridge.

Over that time period, there were White and Black South Africans in the house at the same time just across the hall from one another before Nelson Mandela and the dismantling of apartheid.  They had never been together before and it was exhilarating for them and for us as they giggled together; went to dinner together; worked together and with Roger and Larry tried to bring about something that hadn’t been seen in South Africa for generations.  We became a bit worried when the last two days of their stay the house became as quiet as a tomb.  The White South Africans and the Black South Africans had separated; went to dinner in their separate groups; stopped going back and forth from one room to another and generally pulled apart, leaving for the airport in two vans – one with the White South Africans, one with the Black South Africans. We called Larry because we were concerned something had happened and learned about “re-entry”.  Something the soul does for you when you are going back into the separatist situation from which you’ve come.

We had Hindu’s in the house the day Gandhi was shot and we were expecting another couple the next day who were Sikh’s.  We had Greek Cypriots and Turks’ sharing the house at the same time during some difficult days for them and before all of them we had Russians before Perestroika.

At one point with the Russians we knew we were going to be picked up by the CIA and hauled off to federal prison because we knew nothing about what was coming, we only knew the Russians were the enemy and here they were exchanging research across our breakfast table with their American counterparts and who were their hosts? – Roger Fisher and Larry Susskind.

Our breakfasts were nothing short of sensational and we were heady being able to talk and listen and understand what was happening in the world outside of the very narrow vision of what was normal for Boston and Cambridge.  We were spared guests who talked about the weather, their aches and pains and their miscreant children.

We thought this was what bed & breakfast was all about and we shaped a business following the path laid out for us by Roger Fisher and Larry Susskind.  Without them we would have taken a different turn and probably would be sitting on the street corner wrapped in a sleeping bag – although a very elegant one!

You go through life and never really know what or how you have touched someone else’s life.  My procrastination in reaching out to Roger Fisher to say thank you is kind of typical of the way most of us live with the assumption that life is forever.  It is not and those words of gratitude and appreciation need to be said long before the end comes.

This is very late Roger Fisher, but thank you!!  Thank you for helping us understand how we could carry that $1 million in debt, survive and grow a business which contributes goodness to life.  We don’t pretend to know much about Negotiation the way you and Larry Susskind developed it, but we do know how human and equal we all become around a table sharing food and good conversation – that alone gives hope that one day we will stop the intense violence, pretending that it will solve our conflicts and bring about peace.

Those first few years when we entertained bed & breakfast guests from the Negotiation Project sent to us by Roger Fisher and Larry Susskind were days we shall never forget and days we always keep uppermost in our minds as a paradigm for this Bettina Network business.

We reached the point, in those days, of not wanting to have guests if they did not have great wisdom to contribute over the breakfast table.  Today, we have some remembrances of that and we strive to bring everyone who visits our homes and our host families into an understanding of what that was like and how fantastic a business this is when we keep those standards, that conversation, those dreams of a world full of diversity where we can come together, disagree, work through those disagreements and walk into a very bright light after breakfast.

Roger, may you walk into a great light and enjoy the fruits of your life’s work as you enter another sphere of growing in wisdom, knowledge and understanding in a way we will not understand until we reach that end point where we join you in your endeavors.

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Learn More About How We Use Your Donation!

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______________________________________________________________

Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

Marriage Talk at a Bettina Network Home

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2012

copyright Bettina Network, inc. 2012

Must tell you about this breakfast.  We had a priest and a lawyer at the table and thought this would be kind of boring.  However, it turned out to be unbelievable.

I will give you, dear reader, highlights – you dear editor, write too many words when you blog:)

I don’t know how we got onto the subject of marriage because I was in the kitchen – got to cook breakfast, you know.  No lounging around talking at the table.  I have to catch snippets of conversations.

What was most striking was, it turned around my traditional view of marriage.  I thought marriage was a ceremony performed by the Church, Synagogue, Temple, etc. and I don’t know where I put the marriage license which I know is issued by a governmental entity, but I just didn’t think about all of the details until this conversation.

Turns out, marriage is a civil contract dictated by the State.  To officiate at someone’s wedding you must be licensed by the State.  If a priest is ordained that doesn’t mean he can marry anyone.  He/she can only do that if the priest got a license from the State in addition to his/her ordination.  Anyone can get a license to marry anyone. You can get a license to perform one marriage ceremony or you can get a continuing license to perform the marriage ceremony for lots of people as an ongoing thing and you don’t have to be ordained to apply for and obtain such a license.  Oh – all of my sacred cows are being toppled!!!!!!!!!!!!  Maybe I should just stay in the kitchen and cook and stay out of the dining room.

Actually, according to the priest, the two people marry themselves.  The person officiating is only there as a witness and doesn’t really do the marrying – it is all between the two people and their community of friends.

The lawyer pointed out that if we had problems believing that then we should recognize that once married, to get divorced that is a State process.  If you get ‘divorced’ by your religious institution and re-marry you will be called a bigamist and be subject to the penalties which can generally mean jail time.  So, if it were a religious institutions thing to marry you, it would be the religious institutions thing to grant or deny you a divorce.

The priest said his job was to ‘bless’ the marriage.  When you go to a wedding and the couple goes off to the sacristy or the small room next to the altar where they are supposedly being ‘married’, that is the point at which they are really married.  They sign all the documents and it becomes official.  The signing doesn’t have to be done in a side room, but it generally is to take the congregations mind off the fact that this is a State ceremony not a religious ceremony.

Isn’t that something!!!  And all the time I thought the religious people were the ones doing the marrying of people.  Then why are the religious institutions so upset about this new thing of men marrying men and women marrying women?  And – more than that, I now undertand why it was so important for the future of marriage and the shape it will take when Obama came out to give same sex marrying his ‘blessing.’  He can’t marry anyone unless he is licensed by the State in which they are being married, but its nice to have the President of all the States ‘blessing’ marriage.  Now I get it!

So what does all this mean?  Now that my eyes are open they are taking in all kind of questions.  If ‘marriage’ is a state institution, why was marriage as a civil contract so upsetting to the homosexual and lesbian communities?  They could have entered into a civil contract just like any businesses or individuals enter into.

When the Church says “what God has joined together let no one put asunder” – does that mean we are equating God to the State?  What does a religious institutions ‘divorce’ or ‘annulment’ mean?  Since they bless the marriage does that mean their ‘divorce’ means they are taking back that blessing – especially since that is all they do?   They can’t break a civil contract so where do we go from here?

How does a civil contract become a sacrement of the Church?  Doesn’t this violate the separation of Church and State?   Oh my! I could go on and on and on.  Would the Homosexual/Lesbian community been better off fighting to redefine the benefits of this State Institution so the rest of us could also benefit? – like – should the benefits of today’s marriage be automatically given to one’s ‘spouse’ – as defined under our current mess of a marriage structure or should the person be able to decide who gets these benfits? – like Who can visit them in the hospital when it is closed to all except close family?, – who gets their Social Security benefits, etc. etc.

The marriage laws in the U. S. were based on the slavery laws which existed before Emancipation of the African slaves – what does that mean for the institution of marriage.  All of this fighting for same sex marriage hasn’t addressed any of that.  Are the homosexual and lesbian communities fighting for one of their marriage partners to be the ‘slave’ and the other to be the ‘free and superior person’?  What for!  Or – Is this fight for same sex marriage really a tool being used to change the conversation – from reform of the institution to granting a new group the right to marry and to participate in the same old institution which saw an unbelievably huge number of divorces take place with children, property, etc. all destroyed – and the State Marriage Laws being used as a tool for the redistribution of property to others outside the marriage – like lawyers and their associated helpers in this divorce process?  (The lawyer didn’t bring up that one – that’s my question and observation.)

All of these years and I thought the priest was marrying all those people whose weddings I attended and all along that was just not true.  He/she was there as a representative of the State – not even there as a representative of their particular religious institution – and the couple were the real ‘ministers’ at their wedding.

What one learns in bed & breakfast is astounding! Wouldn’t give it up for the world.

________________________________________________________________

Learn More About How We Use Your Donation!

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______________________________________________________________

Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

Senator Brown and his American Indian Dilemma

Wednesday, May 9th, 2012

copyright Bettina Network 2012 – by Marceline Donaldson

There has been a lot of reporting because Senator Brown accused Elizabeth Warren of taking ‘advantage’ of her American Indian (Cherokee) background.

What the reporters have missed is the fact that being American Indian – even a small part American Indian has never been an advantage in this country.  Most folks would spend time and resources covering their minority heritage!  Elizabeth Warren has not done that – so she won’t have to be ‘surprised’ when a genealogist turns up her minority heritage.

The time-frame about which Senator Brown speaks was a time during which it was especially hard to claim to be any percent of any minority if you wanted a decent job, or a place to live at a reasonable price, or to be treated fairly.  If you were a minority and female  you could just forget it.

How long did Derek Bell fight and how much did he sacrifice just to get Harvard to look at the possibility of hiring an African American woman to the faculty of the Harvard Law School?  Is that the time during which Senator Brown is claiming that to be part or full American Indian would give one an advantage at Harvard Law?  It was called Beirut on the Charles because of the fighting going on in that time frame to try to open the faculty to qualified minority women.  It didn’t happen.  One was let in – an African American woman – and then the door slammed shut.

We live in a racist, sexist society where women and minorities are discriminated against and have to fight just to maintain second and third class citizenship.  Equal opportunities don’t even come into the picture.

This country had Affirmative Action laws because there was no equal opportunity.  To claim that someone who is American Indian, African American, Hispanic American, Female has an advantage over Whites Males in this society is simply untrue. It  is a racist  and sexist statement and I am appalled that the media has not labeled it as such, but covers it as though it is a legitimate statement to which Elizabeth Warren should respond.

To extend Senator Brown’s statement to its logical conclusion, he is claiming that minorities and females make less than their White Male counterparts because they aren’t as qualified, as intelligent, as aggressive, as etc. to be equal – they must be given these unearned ‘advantages’ which Ms. Warren was trying to take from them and claim as her own.  Its further extension says that minorities and women are in lesser positions because they deserve them and are – what – genetically unable to be equal to White Males, thus the need to be vigilant about who uses these “advantages”?

To make the further claim that a Minority Female would experience such a large ‘advantage’ over White females that a White Female would have to claim to be a Minority Female to gain these ‘advantages’ she couldn’t achieve on her own as a White Female because clearly White Females don’t have these ‘advantages’ which accrue to Indian American females in this society is a statement so profoundly irresponsible and racist and sexist that I am appalled not only at the statement, but at the way it has been handled by the press.  Is it because this is one of your own that you will not go after him with the truth, but must cushion what he says and does because his wife is one of you?

This is a United States Senator making such a claim, not simply John Q. Public who might not know better and Senator Brown clearly knows better.

What is apparent to me is the fact that he is changing the dialogue to make sure minorities and women are kept where they ‘belong’ and are kept disadvantaged because he is going on the attack with claims that to be a minority/minority female/female is to have what Senator Brown calls an ‘advantage’ over White Males such that one must be exposed for making what he calls ‘false claims’ to gain these superior ‘advantages’.

Does the following sound familiar?

1) These were the claims made by the KKK when Affirmative Action was passed.

2) The White Citizens Councils in the South made this argument.  It is the argument against Affirmative Action. Their claim was – we don’t need Affirmative Action because it brings in Reverse Discrimination.

This is now slipped into the Senatorial race as an argument against doing the work of bringing about Equaity because we already have Reverse Discrimination.  Senator Brown is claiming that when a Minority Female or someone who is just part Minority Female has more ‘advantages’ in this society than White Males and White Females – so many, according to Senator Brown, that a White Female with a small percentage of American Indian ancestry would loudly claim that ancestry at a time when it would definitely go against her in education, jobs, housing and more.  What were those ‘advantages’ Senator Brown?

How unbelievably racist and sexist is this?  Where are the other voices against this?  Are you so accepting that you would allow such an important conversation be changed by a man who has been a centerfold, put his daughter on the block with his acceptance speech and now is turning the tables and trampling on  all of the Civil Rights heroes who had to sacrifice – in some cases their lives – for the rest of us to gain just one more rung up the ladder – the bottom third of the ladder?  He is telling all of us that to be a minority – even part minority – is to have an ‘advantage’ in this society which we exploit and allow others to exploit against White Males. How insulting is that when racism and sexism is a part of your daily life and you encounter it every time you walk out your front door.

During the years, about which Senator Brown is speaking, we tried to buy a house in Massachusetts.  A White Couple went out to present themselves as the buyers – we were told that without that happening we would not be able to buy the house.  When I decided that wasn’t necessary because after all we were living in different times and we appeared – the African American couple really the potential buyers of the house – the house was taken off the market.  Is that the ‘advantage’ about which Senator Brown speaks?  We now have the ‘advantage’ of not living on the North Shore – it would probably have been too much for an African American couple so we were ‘advantaged’ by being denied?  Or was it my American Indian background which accrued that ‘advantage’ to us?  If they knew about my English great-great-grandfather we probably would have been denied the ‘advantage’ of not living on the North Shore and we would have been ‘disadvantaged’ by being allowed to buy the house!  This is what Senator Brown is telling us that Elizabeth Warren was trying to do – become that kind of ‘advantaged’ person to further her career and her life in this ‘advantaged’ direction!

Senator Brown’s accusations against Ms. Warren says more about Senator Brown’s racism and sexism than it says about anything Elizabeth Warren has done or been accused of doing.  Add that to the blatant sexism he has shown and the “good old boy” attitude he exudes from every pore and this is my Senator?  Senator Strom Thurmond would probably pat him on the back for what he has done for the cause (of the continued superiority of the White Male).

Back in the day – and not that far back – if you had ‘one drop’ of minority ‘blood’ in these United States you were that minority.  If you claimed anything else you were accused of ‘passing’. I’ve never heard of a White person “passing” for a minority because of the ‘advantages’ that would accrue to them.  The ‘advantages’ are so enticing, – of being turned down for housing; turned down for a job; and watching someone less qualified get that same job that you were denied in spite of Affirmative Action laws!  For women it is the ‘advantage’  to be ridiculed; to be demeaned; to see the attempt to destroy their reputation using sex as a weapon; to be characterized as not serious and very frivolous; to be told you were born to be good secretaries but have no genes to allow you to be scientists, etc. – sounds like the ‘advantages’ Senator Brown claims Ms. Warren was seeking by owning up to her minority female ancestors.

To come up front and admit to your American Indian heritage or even to claim publicly whatever percentage of that American Indian heritage you have is a huge step forward for all of us.  As someone who is part Choctaw and Black Foot American Indian to someone who is  part Cherokee American Indian – welcome to the tribes Ms. Warren and thank you for not being ashamed of and of not hiding your minority heritage – no matter how small and no matter the negative repercussions on your life and your future.

Thank you Senator Brown for bringing that forward so we can thank Ms. Warren for her courage at a time when being one part any kind of minority female was something you hid and kept from others not something you admitted to publicly, especially if you didn’t look the part and it was easy to deny.

Even with Affirmative Action – which no longer exists and didn’t work very well anyway – you didn’t gain any ‘advantage’.  Companies, Universities, other institutions or groups simply used the Affirmative Action laws to limit the number of minorities they had to hire instead of increasing that number by hiring the most qualified person for the job regardless of their race, sex, etc.  I know about those so called ‘advantages, Senator Brown.  I worked in Affirmative Action when it was active.  I applied for a job in international marketing.  I was hired for the job and then immediately moved to Affirmative Action because I was uniquely qualified.  I didn’t even know what Affirmative Action was – so what were my qualifications?  I was a minority female, who was ignorant about Affirmative Action.  That was one way I was “advantaged”.  Who was hired for the job in International Marketing? An Englishman with a high school education who had been in the English Army and played the clarinet in its band.  I was so “advantaged” because I had only been to Harvard Graduate School of Business.

What are some of the other ‘advantages’ that minorities experienced?  10% Jews in some Universities – and any more were turned down as being not qualified.  2% African Americans  – and even that was considered too much for most places.  Let’s not even let in one American Indian – and that was acceptable to all.  During the time of which Senator Brown speaks there was no advantage to being or admitting to being American Indian.

Who claimed there were ‘advantages”? – racists and sexists who were fighting Affirmative Action because the tomatoes were taken off their plate leaving only steak, vegies, potatoes and dessert for them to eat – and who were angry that those tomatoes were put on the plates of minority Americans whose plates were totally empty.  They were angry that they were being ‘deprived so others might live in a less oppressive and freer environment.  Those ‘advantages’ were especially strong against an American Indian – especially a female American Indian.

We aren’t that far from the Trail of Tears Senator Brown and who was that about – let’s see now – wasn’t that the Cherokee Nation herded west from the eastern South? If even a small percentage of your genes come from that Cherokee Nation you hold within yourself the pain of that event.  To hold the pain of that event along with the anger in your genes from those who caused that pain – and to still be able to come forward to hold out that you are a part of that pain and a part of those who caused the pain accepting all of your ancestors is a substantial act.

Now, is this conversation that Senator Brown started really about some claimed ‘advantage’ or is he holding up a light for all to see that Ms. Warren is part American Indian in the hopes that the racists amongst us will not vote for her, but will vote for him instead?

Talk about a red herring with a racist agenda – that is what this looks like to many, many, many minorities who have had to struggle and still struggle and in spite of that are turned down for jobs, housing, other opportunities.  To hear someone, especially a United States Senator claim that to be an American Indian or even part American Indian gains one some kind of advantage in this system is not only nonsense; it is not only extremely painful for minorities to hear because it once again raises the denial which has and continues to prolong the practice of  racism and sexism in this society,  but it changes the dialogue and gives the racists and sexists a place to hang their hats as they march forward to make sure Affirmative Action – Equal Opportunity –  never again gains a foothold in this society and that minorities continue to be discriminated against .

Congratulations Senator Brown!  You have earned a higher place within your political group.  All of the ‘hail fellow well met’ folks are crowing about your ‘guts’ and jumping on your band wagon in their delight that one of their own is pushing back the unwashed minorities and women trying to be free and equal.  The rest of us are wearing sack cloth and ashes because you are our Senator.

To claim that to be a Minority is to have more advantage than Whites have in this society and to claim that to be part minority opens one up to take advantage of non-existent advantages is to be irresponsible to the point of evil. To have set yourself up as the one who “outs” such claims is evil to the core.

Senator Brown has shown clearly in these past few days that he is not only racist and sexist, but believes he has a right to be and is very loud and wrong in his claims, but he doesn’t seem to realize how arrogant and ugly he now looks because his inner beliefs are on parade for all to see.

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Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

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Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

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Society Overwhelmed by Pedophilia?

Thursday, April 19th, 2012

copyright 2012 Bettina Network, inc.

ED. NOTE:  I had to think long and hard before publishing this, however, it was a breakfast table discussion and everyone was very passionate about this so we print it for you to read and think about.

Breakfast started innocently enough with one guest having read an article that morning about a priest being defrocked because of the sexual abuse of children.  None of us was particularly interested in the topic until one person put forward her theory and then the breakfast table came alive.

We have all heard and read more than we ever wanted to know about this disease.  It has taken center stage often over the past several years and we wanted to know what has caused such a large outbreak.  What has happened to society that this is something we have to worry about and from which we have to protect our children?

What changed and has moved forward and grown in the same time frame that Pedophilia has been on the rise in the society and is related!!!

If you have gone to a major fashion show over the past 30 or more years and especially watched the shows of the hot, new and well-known fashion designers,  whose clothes command four, five and sometimes six figures, I am sure you’ve noticed that the models are about 13, 14, 15 years old.  They look more like little boys than young women who can carry off elegant designs. The designers and their models – the children – who strut down the runways, have had an enormous influence in the society – as has their “strut.”

Years ago – in ancient times – back in the 1950’s, one had to be 35 years or older to be a model because the clothes were very elegant and meant for women, not for  the too thin, malnourished-druggie looking young kids who are too underdeveloped to be the women they are trying to mimic and replace.  We wondered if some of these young children weren’t pre-puberty!  And where were their parents?

As the fashion industry changed and the models became ever younger with the clothes designed to make young girls look like young boys, pedophilia began its rise.

We were not worried about offending anyone in this conversation because it was just us talking around the breakfast table about something we all had been thinking, but no one had the courage to say out loud because we all thought, maybe we were on the wrong track and had gotten the wrong opinion – after all, would not the media, the magazines, the arbiters of good taste, who love to criticize and find the flaw in everything, have come out knocking this if such a horrid pedophilia-encouraging development were connected?  But that “wrong” opinion was shared by everyone around the table.  A couple felt relieved to be able to say these things out loud and not be put down or ridiculed.

It has been difficult to be over 35 and a size 12 or 14 and find clothes that are elegant and wonderful on your body.  We’ve had many friends talking about “augmenting” their breasts and we wondered – what on earth for – the clothes you buy don’t fit anyone, even a size 4 who has a breast-size larger than a 32 double A. – The ideal female figure to fit into these clothes is stick straight – with none or very few curves which are then hidden and minimized.

The “glamour” “top” models are curve-less.  The older models who have to think about retiring or about getting into something else, are about 35.  When someone still looks pretty terrific at 49 it is considered quite an achievement.  We knew and know women in their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s who look sensational.  It was a common occurrence decades ago.  Today, we consider them over the hill and ancient.  In the 1950’s they were the ones wearing the designer original clothes and looking exceptionally good in them because their age and experience allowed them to carry off these beautiful clothes.

We didn’t know how this phenomena of the rise of the 13 to 20 year old super model connects with pedophilia, but it certainly appeared to us that one was the genesis of the other.

We knew there were pedophiles in society before today.  But the difference between today and way back in ancient times is in the numbers and the fact that today, children are not safe and parents have to keep a vigilant, constant eye out for adults trying to solicit their child.  And the children walking down the adult runways in the top fashion shows in New York, Paris, etc. have changed the age range – and the definition of what is sexy.  Years ago, it was a mature woman.  Today, it is a child.

When the definition of what is sexy is changed to a 13 year old emaciated child either with make-up to look like someone on an extended bad drug trip or naturally looking like that because that is indeed their problem, then it seemed to us that increasing incidents of pedophilia and increasing numbers of pedophiles in this society is the natural result.

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Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

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Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

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A Wonderful Concord Christmas Story

Saturday, December 31st, 2011

copyright Bettina Network, inc. for Barbara Marden 2011

A few days before Christmas I was giving a friend’s out of town visitor a tour of the house.  My friends six year old son David was with us and did he get excited when I showed him  a secret place to store treasures.  It was in our main bed and breakfast bedroom above the fireplace mantelpiece. Our “restoration” carpenter from New Hampshire created that little cavern when he tore down the wall above the mantelpiece and put shelves in the recess. David was less impressed by my description of what we found when the wall was torn. The major items were a ladies button boot, a breast pump, and some letters, each offering consolation for the death of a child.  Losing a child was apparently a common event for families from the time our house was built in the early 1700s through even later times.

 

One of the letters, three pages long, and now in the Concord library, showed beautiful handwriting similar to our forefathers’ writing of our Constitution. It was a letter from Cyrus Barrett to his sister Sally, who had married into the Wood family living in our house. The Barrett family house is now being restored as part of Concord’s historical park.  The Minutemen had ammunition hidden in the Barrett’s cornfield the day of the shot heard round the world. Written in New Orleans in 1819, Cyrus first offered condolences over a son’s death  and continued by describing a familiar theme, an economic downturn. I have not corrected the spelling in the following quotes:

 

“I was much affected by the maloncholly intelligence contained in your letter of the sudden death of your affectionate and much loved little John.  I recollect him perfectly and have often been amused by his innocent playfulness.  I am not surprised that his death should occasion the deepest sorrow in you, yet at the same time you are left with the comfortable assurance that he is happier than your fondest wishes and care could have made him.”

 

“New Orleans has for some time past been suffering under a heavy weight of commercial embarrasement.  Many of her most enterprising Merchants have failed and those who continue in business are constantly complaining of heavy taxes.  The Produce of the country is extremely low. Cotton which formerly sold for 30 cents now sells for 16 cts and other articles have suffered the same depression in values, but notwithstanding the times look so gloomy we are looking forward for a change.”

 

Thinking about the letters makes me glad to be alive today.  In spite of all the economic and political problems, we are saved the grief of losing so many children.

And of course so many of our tasks are much easier, for instance baking these Russian tea cakes I gave my friend to take home.  They make excellent cookies for any occasion.

 

INGREDIENTS AND DIRECTIONS FOR BAKING RUSSIAN TEACAKES:

 

1 cup butter                           1 teaspoon vanilla (or brandy)

½ cup confectioners sugar        ¾ cup chopped pecans

2and ¼ cup sifted flour             1 cup confectioners sugar

 

Cream shortening and sugar. Stir in vanilla.  Add flour and then nuts.  Form 1” balls and bake 14 to 17 minutes in 325 oven. While still hot roll carefully in confectioners sugar.

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Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

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Call for Papers – Thoreau Society

Sunday, October 16th, 2011

The annual gathering of the Thoreau Society will be July 12 through 15th.  Its theme – celebrating 150 years of Thoreau’s Life, Works and Legacy.  The Society is asking for proposals for walks, talks, hikes and other events. If you have such an idea please submit it to The Thoreau Society, 341 Virginia Road, Concord, MA. 01742 care of the Annual Gathering Committee or email to info@thoreausociety.org.  If you have questions you may call 978 369 5310.  Their web site is www.thoreausociety.org.

The papers are due by December 7, 2011.

I  was particularly taken with the Walk to Wachusett.  If it is offered this year I think we will join the group.  It is an unusual walking tour taking three days, but extremely interesting, educational with a sense of history and having walked where Thoreau and others walked generations ago.

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Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

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A Tribute to Mary Daly

Friday, January 8th, 2010

by: Marceline Donaldson

A friend of mine died on Sunday. The world is changing much too fast. Old friends are leaving, quietly. You hear nothing for a couple years and then the news comes that they have died. Keep your friends and family close. Before you know it, they will be gone. 

 
Mary Daly died on Sunday. I first met Mary when I was at Harvard Business School. On a Sunday, I went to Memorial Church. No particular reason, that was what I did on Sundays. The preacher was Mary Daly. She preached a sermon I will never forget and at the end of it led a walk out to protest the patriarchy. – Almost everybody in Harvard Memorial Church that Sunday, walked out with her – me included. It was kind of like being in a shocked, unreal, dreamlike place. It was 1971 and the world was just waking up to what feminism and the women’s movement was all about. 
 
I saw the picture of Mary Daly that the Boston Globe used over her obituary. It was probably the worst picture of her they could find. Choosing that picture said more about the Boston Globe than it did about Mary Daly. When I met Mary that Sunday, so many years ago, she was a young, very beautiful woman. I read Mary’s obituary in the Boston Globe. It said nothing about the Memorial Church walkout. It read as though what she did in life was to refuse to admit men to her classes at Boston College. 
 
I spent the 1970’s protesting, reading Mary’s books, along with many more and waking up from my southern, feminine, shy self. I turned the ‘ne at the end of feminine into ‘st and have been doing my little bit to change a patriarchy that sometimes seems intransigent. Those who fought as hard as Mary Daly did, suffer the slings and arrows; the harsh judgments of their peers; the jealousy of those fighting alongside them; the rage of the patriarchy and more, but they have the freedom, the total internal freedom that comes with knowing who you are, of defining yourself; of not allowing this world and its institutional structures to dictate your sense of self-worth. That freedom is worth all the pain and agony which goes along with claiming it. 
 
To Mary Daly – my deepest thanks for the incredible way you gave of yourself to bring about change from a baser way of living in this world to one in which me, my children and grandchildren can begin to heal from the burdens and abuses of the patriarchal system into which we were born. 
 
Out of the depths of my despair, my frustration, my confusion, my feelings of being an alien where I live every day, breaks forth my realization of the incredible joy of being me – of understanding who that is – of not compromising my equality for anything or anyone – of becoming fierce and strong and proud of my femaleness. Stereotypes fall away, they lose their grip and I see through all the games being played against me. Games to diminish me; to bind me; to keep me from being all that i was born to be, all that my talents push me to be – how glorious is that freedom. May it keep its hold on me forever. 
 
Amazingly, many of the things Mary Daly talked about I heard from my grandmother. She didn’t phrase them the same way and my grandmother would be appalled if anyone called her a feminist, but there she was. She talked about sin – if you are going to sin, sin boldly, she said. Always make your own living. You are a free, whole person – always remember that. There is nothing you can’t do. If one door closes, another door opens – only you have to be able to see the opening door and if you are crying over the door that closed in your face, you will surely miss the better one opening just a few feet away – and it isn’t going to sit there open for long, waiting until you arise from your self-pity, missy. 
 
The world will miss a beautiful soul. God bless you Mary Daly. May your soul and the souls of the departed do glorious things together and be joyous in your new life in ways that were not possible on earth.
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Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

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