copyright Bettina Network, inc. 2013
Estate Sales should be staffed by psychiatrists and psychologists who are looking for material to use in writing a book about all of us.
At some time or other we all pass through – either an estate sale or a bed & breakfast. We pass through as a guest or as proprietor of a bed & breakfast (defined in the old fashioned sense of a private home which welcomes guests) or the owner or executor of items sold via some kind of estate sale.
Our goal, the Bettina Network’s goal, in this business as in our lives is to be truly responsible to the environment; to quality in all our offerings and the way we offer them; to diversity, acceptance, equality and especially respect of others.
That said – we would like to pass on to you some of the lessons we have learned – and we will certainly take them to heart and do our best to incorporate them in our lives going forward.
One incontrovertible fact – the estate sale, scattering sale, antique sale, moving sale, art sale are social events. Many people come to meet and greet; to see what is offered; to talk about themselves and their lives; to travel-in-place exploring the neighborhoods around the sales finding new places to eat – to visit – to enjoy. What has been obvious to us for decades is the fact that antique people, estate sale people, artists, bed & breakfast people have some very similar personality and character traits in common. So much so you can spot a ‘newbie’ in a few seconds. Interestingly, that ‘newbie’ gains experience and moves up in the ranks very quickly.
Estate sales have three kinds of merchandise – the ‘real’ antique and old masters art, the collectible items, the new stuff being sold so it can be replaced with more new stuff. Mostly, or should I say historically, those items are segregated into “classes” and sold separately in different sales. Our way of doing business is to offer them all at once so you have the experience of seeing what one person has deemed important and collected over a lifetime or over the time they have spent in a particular house or profession. One of our goals is to break those barriers and offer a Rembrandt and stainless steel spoon in the same sale. We now have enough appraisers, art historians, consultants who are expert in just about every item out there working with us to be able to do that with confidence. We hope as we move forward, you will gain enough confidence in us and in our ability to bring to you the best way of selling your art, furniture, collection, musical instruments, jewelry, cars, houses, stocks, bonds, other financial instruments and more, that we are the first and last people you call to engage to sell any and all of your earthly possessions.
Currently, the ‘real’ antiques and old masters art works are the joy of every collectors heart. They don’t even have to be able to afford the prices, they just like to look – to touch – to feel – to smell the items they have read about, would love to own but can be satisfied just being there to hear about the owners – where the items came from – how they were acquired – how they were taken care of, etc. These folks love a bargain, but will pay a fair price because they know what they are buying will only increase in value over the years and they hope it will become a family heirloom and their inheritors will cherish those items left to them and will pass the stories surrounding the items down through the generations. These are the dream clients.
The collectible items in sales appeal to a whole other group of people. These are the people who are looking for that big score. Finding that item for $1.00 which will sell for $100,000, but they will be content adding the 999th item to their collection of Disney, or old spoons, or interesting picture frames, or Victorian furniture which used to be in their grandmother’s house or….. These are good clients, but their conversation is very different and their approach to an estate sale is very different from those looking for that exquisite work of art. You don’t have a community forming with this group. That strong bond forms with those looking for the antiques and old masters art works. But you also don’t have the intense competition and extreme jealousies which can form around those looking for those antiques and art works even as their sense of community forms. You do, however, have a lot of bragging going on about 195 items collected with only 804 to go to have an entire “collection”. Out of this group can come those in whom a switch is flicked and the hoarder appears.
The third group is problematical – both those who own what is being sold and those who buy. These are the people looking to furnish and add some luxury touches to their homes and generally they want to do it as cheaply as possible. No problem with that, nor is that a negative. Some of the people selling have bought items for their own comfort and enjoyment and want to recoup some of what they spent as they move on. Others have done the same but want those buying this used merchandise to pay close to full price because they have their faces turned around and are so focused on ‘taking’ that ‘sharing’ is an unknown and unknowing concept to them. There is not often a two way street here and there is very little recognition of anything except their need to squeeze everything and everyone around them dry, leaving nothing behind and even taking from those who don’t have much to give. These tend to have bought and are selling poorly manufactured merchandise, have lived with it very hard so it can be quite damaged and want others to pay a lot of money for their – no longer new and well worn goods.
Once you walk out of that nicely decorated store with its offer of interior decorators to help you place the items, choose colors, materials, window treatments which they make and more, the value of what you have bought and are probably having delivered drops immediately in value by at least 50% and each year thereafter that you keep that new merchandise, the worth of it drops ever more sharply. The penalty for purchasing merchandise which is not beautifully crafted; not able to withstand the test of time over its design attributes; is poor material camouflaged to look like something it isn’t is the low price you get on the resale market.
To not recognize that fact and want others to pay for your enjoyment of goods you purchased which are not worth what you paid for them in the first place and which you have worn hard is a very unrealistic place to be and is either a naive or ignorant expectation. This group is usually made up of those who are up-from and who turn a hard cold face to the world – responsibility and respect are not attributes which can be used to define their character.
And then there are the customers. These are the ones who make psychiatric history. Some of the antics we have observed should only be in books – fantasy books, unreal books, novels when one needs to create drama, or really – Ripley’s Believe It Or Not.
The customers who are most intriguing are those who come in to a home, find what they want, take out cash – usually about 10% of the price of the item – and wave it around in front of your face saying something like ‘look, I have cash money for you right here, right now”. I am never sure of their expectations. Is the response to that supposed to be one where you put your tongue out as you hyperventilate because you are so eager to grab the cash you will do anything? Are you supposed to follow their waving the cash around with longing looks in your eyes? Do you faint on the spot because you are so close to cash and its affect is so overwhelming you just lose all control and all consciousness so they can rip you off before you can recover? Or maybe you are expected to dance around them excitedly because they are so willing to pay so little to get so much? Whatever the expected response, what they are showing are the really negative character traits we all recoil from and what is so, so sad – they don’t even realize – the emperor has no clothes and his/her real ugliness, rudeness, arrogance, disrespect of self is showing and neon signs are flashing out all kinds of messages for the world to see.
It gets even better! An estate sale is the place to go to understand what large retail corporations have done to American Society and to other societies around the world in the name of competition, branding, marketing, advertising, selling strongly to people who don’t need what you are selling -can’t afford what you are selling – have lost the ability of discernment in things they think they need and struggle to buy and don’t know about the secrets some retailers are hiding behind those fancy packagings. The need to bring non-profits into the picture, which is so commonly done today, blows smoke into your eyes. You need to gain back that lost discernment, but not yet – this feeling of your giving to those in need while buying what you think you want continues to cover the emptiness in you with the money you are spending for so very little in return. The non-profts, in return, are losing their soul and their mission in that same process. Their real, direct contributions drop. The number of people knowing about their mission, committed to it, working to help bring about their goals drops dramatically in this process, but the mirage has been created and we all fall for it like 16 year olds whose hormones are raging.
It is at the estate sale where the customer goes to project upon those selling their feelings of anger, anxiety, being ripped off which they acquire when they are buying retail. Some go to the estate sales to gain back the power they have lost in the greater society by parading around like the great and powerful of yesteryear, treating others as though they are the servants and have the job of mopping up what they leave behind. It is to the estate sale we go to crap on the people selling because we can’t do the same to the large multi-national retailer ripping all of us off in the name of making a profit, because we don’t have the strength of character to be able to put blame where its due.
At the same time, the loveliness of shopping happens at estate sales because they are very personal and at the sales are the customers who have beautiful spirits and share some of their lives. They share who they are, what they are looking for and why and who want to stay within their budgets and pay as little as possible but also want you to thrive and make sure, as best they can, that what they are buying and what they pay for what they are buying seems fair to all. Sometimes, they share some of their dreams and visions of the future, what the world could be like, their problems, their great families, their ungreat families who have sent them out to strangers to share what’s in their hearts and I could go on for quite a few paragraphs.
Accordingly, having learned these lessons and a whole lot more, we are responding in a way which lessens the pressure on those selling with us (our staff) and which makes our days in this business much less stressful:
1) We have established a “watch list”. No we aren’t watching for thieves, they are the least of our worries. We put on our watch list those who are ugly in spirit and want everything for themselves and enjoy ripping off others to get it. They can’t do this in a larger context because it would be defined as a criminal act and they would have penalties to pay through loss of their freedom. So we will use our “watch list” to exclude them from all future sales; spend no time with them and discourage them from coming to Bettina Network Sales.
2) The only people we will put on our ’email’ list, a list of those to whom we send notices of our sales – invitations to special events – invitations to previews of sales before they are open to the general public – will be people who are fully human; who understand and promote equality and diversity; who have reasons for buying other than to hit the jackpot by ripping off others. How will we know these people? Experience. Work an estate sale for a few hours and you will also know!!!
3) The last day of our sales will be split in two. The first half, items left will be half-price to those who have previously purchased items from our sales and the second half will be entertainment, refreshments and what is left given free to those who have receipts for having purchased previously or who have checked with us about people they know who are in need and who could use some of what is left.
4) As time goes on, this list will get longer. But for now it is a beginning. We hope it is a beginning of the Reformation of retail in this world. I can’t say in this American Society because it is not limited to the U. S. A., it goes across the world and is getting stronger. An ethical, responsible, strong and good character is what is needed to overcome the greed, avarice, jealousy, obscene profits, now driving this and other industries. If that is what you have – join us! We would love to manage your sale; house your travelling guests; be a lifestyle reference.
________________________________________________________________
Learn More About How We Use Your Donation!
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Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.
Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.
Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.
Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net
This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com
TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com
IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!
1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.
Martin-Zimmerman and they Followed Historical Patterns
July 14th, 2013copyright Bettina Network, inc. 2013
Don’t you know, just about every table talk conversation today is about the Zimmerman/Martin case and practically every sermon in many different denominations and religions includes some reference to it.
This is our contribution to the conversation:
1) George Zimmerman was not tried by a jury of his peers. Wasn’t it in the 1960’s and 1970’s that lawsuits abounded because Blacks were tried by all-White juries and those law suits proved that the results of such cases had nothing to do with justice and more to do with allowing the racism of the society penetrate and skewer Court decisions?
Lawsuit after Lawsuit proved that and change happened – until now!
How is it then, that a jury of five white women with white children and one minority woman who the press has never identified as to race – sometimes she was Black, sometimes she was Hispanic – is a jury of Zimmermans’ peers. This decision had nothing to do with justice and this jury did nothing except let the racism and sexism of this society enter the Court system through the front door with a special escort to make sure those twin isms knew where to go.
When one reflects on the fact that the children were White and the women were going to consider this case from the biased perspective not of – what if your child was Black and went to the local grocery store wearing a hoodie or just went to the grocery store in his neighborhood where there was an overzealous, out-of-control neighborhood watch person out there on the street; but what if your child was the White kid named some form of Zimmerman who had to go through a trial because he was doing what he claimed was his job and felt perfectly justified in shooting Trayvon Martin to death after the neighborhood watch person provoked the incident which allowed him to do this huge violence against another human being?
Zimmerman was not charged for 45 days after the fact. Who said “justice delayed……………” What happened in those 45 days? When someone confesses to shooting someone to death, there is an immediate arrest in this system because the evidence is subject to be skewered, disappear, witnesses tampered with and on and on and on.
2) George Zimmernan was a neighborhood watch person. There were many comments that he was a wannabe policeman, but those comments from the media seemed put out there only to cover the ugly facts of what happened. Why is a neighborhood watch person in the street in his car watching for ‘trouble’ with a gun? Was he trained in the use of a gun? Did he have to make regular trips to the shooting range to make sure he knew how to shoot a gun and his skills were up to where they should be? Was he ‘fit’ in the way police and other law enforcement officers have to be, in addition to keeping up their skills with their weapons? Had he been vetted psychologically to know he was able to be responsible with a gun in this neighborhood watch job? Was he encouraged to carry a gun by law enforcement? Why was he not immediately removed from this neighborhood watch duty when it was clear he was not sure of his own ability to fight off any possible attack on himself without the use of a gun? I didn’t hear any of these questions raised.
Zimmermans’ personality – character – ethics – kept him from following orders from those who knew better and advised him as to what to do. To ignore those orders, get out of his car to stalk a Black man in a ‘hoodie’ after telling the police who this Black man was using very negative racist and demeaning terms is a personality, character and ethics exposure. This could not have been the first time this side of Zimmerman was exposed to those who elected him or allowed him to be the neighborhood watch person. What was their motive to ignore these warning signs and allow him out with his gun.
Zimmerman is a man whose own defense witnesses said could not fight – he was too fat to defend himself in a fist fight on the street. He couldn’t punch, etc. He must have been very insecure being a neighborhood watch person – why else was carrying a gun? He knew his limits and he knew his temper – is that what made him so quick to pull the trigger? That is a very insecure person who is looking for trouble when he goes out on a job where he is supposed to be simply a neighborhood watch person observing the neighborhood for signs of trouble and if he saw possible problems, his ‘job’ was to alert the police.
With a gun, Zimmerman was not an ‘observer’ who would quickly alert the real police to trouble. He was someone who was armed and ready and willing to use his weapon at the least provocation. He has shown that is true by his actions against Trayvon Martin. Zimmerman was ready to use his weapon and to provoke an incident during which he could use his weapon – which he did. In the Mafia he would be a made man. In the gang world, he would be welcomed as a member, in the Florida police force ………………?
Has Zimmerman now overcome his half-breedness and is now welcomed into the arms of the majority group? Is this what it takes for a half-breed to become a full-fledged accepted White Person? Zimmerman didn’t make it by birth, but he has absolutely shown he is ready to take his place in a racist, sexist, classist system which is prone to violence against its minorities and is against giving its minorities justice in its court system. Review cases over the past years and see what you come up with! When the jury has spoken, justice has been served. No one commentating on this case has been willing to say other than the jury system has delivered justice. A jury system has delivered that kind of justice to a whole lot of Black folks over the generations – are we dissembling to take attention away from that fact? Are we throwing out a red herring to get folks to look in every place except at the truth?
3) We are all being told the jury has spoken and justice has been served because we are the best nation in the world and our justice system is the best there is!!!!!!! Tell that to the generations of African Americans who have been through our justice system and have seen results come through like Plessy vs Ferguson and a whole lot more. I could go on here and take time to list pages of such cases in which the same kind of justice we have just seen is traditional in this country when African Americans are involved.
When has this country’s justice system ever convicted a White man for the murder of a Black man? And clearly Zimmerman was White. His mother may have been hispanic or some other kind of minority, but his father was White and that is the determination in this country. He stands up as a White man and is respected as such.
4) This great system of justice will now reward Zimmerman and he is the man of the hour – he will shortly be the multi-millionaire of the hour as the offers pour in. I heard talk that his brother may even benefit since the media is talking up how ‘professional’, how ‘well spoken’ is his brother. All we could say is – how self-serving was his brother and how unbelievably horrible in the way he mocked what happened and put himself and his family on that top line where we are the best, most caring people in the world. A family that has produced a George Zimmerman has lots of problems the brother has not let slip out.
All on the back of Trayvon Martin. Trayvon Martin’s life was taken so this man can succeed. Zimmerman followed the book, written over the generations – the racist, ugly names; the provoked violence for which the Black is blamed, the holier than thou attitude at the end, that the Zimmerman family seems schooled in………………. This name calling and showing the spite and vicious racist attitude the Zimmermans have towards African Americans has been slathered over and will soon be buried deep under everything else. Just the fact that the arguments in court were around who was the aggressor says the red herring had already been thrown and Zimmerman was a free man. After Zimmerman started the fight – the court argument takes up at the point where they could picture Martin as the aggressor and all is well – the jury acquits and justice is served. For who? Certainly not for the African Americans in this country. This was a case about racial profiling which resulted in the death of an African American and the courts’ have said ‘ justice was served because the African American was the ‘aggressor’ – and now let the real aggressor go free.
5) The aggressor was clearly George Zimmerman. Trayvon Martin was going home from the store – he was not breaking into a neighborhood where he did not belong, he was going back to his father’s house. This 17 year old child, who had never been in trouble of any kind, had an exemplary record, was going home and was followed and threatened by one George Zimmerman who then shot and killed him and there was a question in the trial as to who was the aggressor! Well – who was the African-American! In this society, in its criminal justice system, there is no question that in that circumstance the Black man was the aggressor – let the facts be selectively chosen to prove this case – AND THEY WERE.
________________________________________________________________
Learn More About How We Use Your Donation!
[give_form id=”3763″]
______________________________________________________________
Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.
Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.
Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.
Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net
This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com
TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com
IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!
1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.
Tags: African American history, bed & breakfast, breakfast table talk, George Zimmerman, Making Connections, politics, Racism, Sexism, Trayvon Martin
Posted in Breakfast Table Talk, Guest comments, Making Connections | Comments Off on Martin-Zimmerman and they Followed Historical Patterns