Thanks to all of you who have been such a support for our family during an extremely painful time. Robert’s death was unexpected even though we knew he was 92 years old and having lots of problems just doing basic things and struggling to get through one day at a time.
My life has been very long and and full of amazing achievements and basic battles for equality for myself and those like me. Now it is a life in which I feel pain such as I have never experienced before. Lots of friends and family have died and that has been very sad and painful, but nothing like this.
Since the death of Robert, I spend my time looking for him, sometimes feeling his presence, but mostly not knowing what to do or why I am still here. Why did I have so much to do when Robert was alive and today nothing.
I was unbelievably busy before Robert died. So much to do and so little time. 18 hour days and then exhaustion. Now, I spend my time doing nothing except feeling the pain and emptiness of what life has become. Lots of friends come in and out of the house. Many bringing food such that the refrigerator could feed 50 people for several weeks and that is only a slight exaggeration.
It is probably time to write my biography so my children will know their mother in greater detail than they do now. It has been quite a life. Half of my lifetime was spent with Robert. 43 years. And today, nothing.
