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PTSD – Yes, Posttraumatic Stress

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2014

copyright by Bettina Network, inc. 2014

Our breakfast conversations don’t shy away from any topic.  This one dealt with – what is Post Traumatic Stress?

I went to Wikipedia to look up what this means and found the following:

“Posttraumatic stress disorder[note 1] (PTSD) may develop after a person is exposed to one or more traumatic events, such as sexual assault, warfare, serious injury, or threats of imminent death.[1] The diagnosis may be given when a group of symptoms, such as disturbing recurring flashbacks, avoidance or numbing of memories of the event, and hyperarousal, continue for more than a month after the occurrence of a traumatic event……

People who experience assault-based trauma are more likely to develop PTSD, as opposed to people who experience non-assault based trauma such as witnessing trauma, accidents, and fire events……”

Most of us only know about PTSD from movies we have seen, which includes actors portraying people with such a problem. Very few of us actually knows someone with PTSD.

Our breakfast included one person who was trying to recover from PTSD and not being successful in the effort.

Most of us these days, no matter the religion or lack of religion, believes human beings are basically good.  Our conversation at breakfast centered around the fact that human beings are mostly self-centered and self-absorbed and have to work very hard to overcome the jealousy, greed, anger, power-hunger and other emotions such self-centeredness engenders to be able to reach the other side where there is good.  We make it to that other side once in a while in our lives, but never on a consistent all-the-time basis.

Without a lot of education around the topic; without a lot of knowledge about people suffering from this problem; and without anything else which would say we are  certified by today’s standards  to deal with it, we, nevertheless, reached a conclusion as to what we thought PTSD is about:)

To us, PTSD transcends race, class, religion, sex, sexual choice, ideology, politics, or any of what we normally talk about.  People who wind up with PTSD can’t be categorized by any of the normal classifications that we use to pigeonhole ourselves.  We decided PTSD comes from the fact that as humans we are basically evil and only achieve goodness on a very rare occasion.  Those with PTSD have come face to face with the raw evil that exists in us and in them and it put them into a reality space, kicking them out of the space where we exist in our  woven and interwoven mythologiess that we use to get through life.

We  live with the assumption of the basic goodness of human beings and we talk about the evil in all of us as being the exception.  We can actually claim, without missing a beat, that all of the evil of the world comes from those few ‘bad eggs’ who cast aspersions on the rest of us.

The problem with that thought is that in this world, evil is the rule not the exception.  Even during those times when we reach that small island of goodness, we are flawed.

Once upon a time Christians believed humans were born with ‘original sin’ and that ‘sin’ was washed away by the waters of baptism.  Today, baptism has become a social act and a social time.  It is like an initiation into a fraternity or a sorority.  Many parents bring their children to Church for baptism, have a party after and they are gone until the child becomes an adult and marries.  So we see a society becoming more and more inerred of the sinful nature of human beings.  The need to raise up a child aware of how hard it is to walk that path away from evil towards good is gone. We can see the results of that attitude by looking at the increase of horror in the world.  Our little group could only talk about Christianity since all of the people at breakfast were either active or fallen away Christians, but this is not limited to Christianity.  I think, if you look at every other religion in the world today, you will find we are moving towards religion as a kind of physical exercise to move the body closer to physical perfection and theology as a justification of the self being in need of more self-control and self-actualization.

Go back to Hitlers Germany, with its destruction of some six million Jews.  It was a horrible time.  But we came out of that throwing crap on the Russians who were with us in that war and who lost some 25 million people.  We did nothing to raise them up and everything to re-create them as the new world enemy.  We worked hard to raise up Germany and those German Jews who suffered loss, but we worked harder to put down Russians and forget about their losses.  So we wound up with the predictable – a new enemy to whom we sacrificed our children, our homes, our futures, because it was necessary now to wage war against this new enemy and former friend.  We branded and put down people who did not agree with us by calling them Communists and that was a bad thing – the civil rights movement of the time was particularly subjected to this name-calling.  And the Communists waged war and trained their people to hate and distrust those who didn’t believe in and accept their ideology. That mentality is beginning to raise its head today as many don’t want to deal with the demonstrations aimed at the evils in our society.  So instead of listening and trying to address the problems, we are beginning to move back to that day when those ‘agitators’, who held up that mirror to our faces, were the problem and those who did not get involved in anything except taking advantage of the goodnesses that come from the work of the ‘agitators’  are the ones we held up in our communities as the role models.

When we come face to face with the trauma from the evil that lives in all of us, some have a hard time overcoming that experience, because they can’t climb back into the myth of the basic goodness of human beings.  Are the ones who suffer from PTSD the ones amongst us who are temporarily or for the long term living with stark reality?  Are they experiencing reality without its covering of mythology; the myths we seem to be able to crank out constantly and instantaneously?  Are we good, or have we so shocked ourselves with the extreme cruelty we can inflict on us and others, that we have to straighten up for a brief period of time and really be and do good?  Do those who experience PTSD know that and can’t reconcile the reality of life with the myth they are asked to participate in with their family, friends and colleagues?  Have they experienced something which does not allow them to do this?  Whenever they try, does truth intervene and demand that they step out of the storybook and live in the real world?  In that real world, they  can’t make excuses for others and can’t accept the same potential for evil they find in themselves.

The rest of us can live with the assumption of humans being basically good.   When we experience trauma from the evil that lives in all of us and we can’t escape that reality and can’t climb back into our created myths, will we spend our lives with the initials PTSD sewn into our clothes and drawn across our breasts?  Will we be haunted by the evil that can and has come out of humans just like us and just like them.  Will faith, trust, love – all of it – be put in a time warp, because we will have seen just how evil humans can be?  Will we then be able to face the fact that there are more people in this world  acting out of evil than out of good?  To live in a world facing that reality must be almost or completely unbearable.

When you have experienced the terrors of the world as anything other than a story in a book,  it is very difficult to see goodness as anything other than the exception.  Who we really are can be life-haunting for those who have seen humanity in its rawest form.

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Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

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Posted in Bed & Breakfast, Bettina Homes, Breakfast Table Talk, Empathy, Spiritual Reflection | No Comments »

Bettina’s Weight Control

Sunday, December 14th, 2014

From a Bettina Network Lifestyle Community Member:

“Well I read through the blogs for the diet but did not find one. ”

However, I did find some great tips. I am drinking lime juice now…..  It almost instantaneously curbed my hunger.  This was so on time with this being my day of clear liquids and the gad between now and my last meal of an egg sandwich right before midnight.   Thanks for this, I will be using up my limes today.

In the spirit of giving back: before you squeeze the lime or lemon, peel it thinly, hang it to dry out.  In a couple of weeks, take it, break it apart, throw it in a processor and grind it.  You will  end up with two consistencies, the more coarse consistency on the top.  I separate the coarse pieces and set them aside to use:   to make tea; for seasoning sea food; for baking;  making marmalades; to garnish certain foods or desserts.  The finer consistency I store in a vial and place on the shelf with my baking spices.  A 1.5 oz bottle of lemon peel goes for roughly $10 and up , with organic coming in higher.

In baking I use the peel of approximately 1/2 a lime in the eggs, it helps to cut the fresh smell.  I remove the fresh peel before baking.  The dry peels I add as an ingredient and those go through the fire.  I have gotten creative in making cranberry orange muffins.  It is quite delightful to bite into tidbits of orange peel.

Lime/ lemon peel tea is great for sore throats, cold or flu. ”

By:  CN

Ed Note:  Thanks for those tips.  We are certainly ready for anything to cut colds or flu – especially if it does not have to be injected into our bodies at Drug Stores.  Oops! Sorry – you can tell my age by that slip-up.  They changed the name of those stores for this current generation.  They are now called the Pharmacy.

Ed Note:  We do not believe in diets and you won’t find the traditional kind in Bettina Network’s Blog – if you are talking about the  listing of  menus giving you what to eat at which meal on a particular day.  We believe that has developed to shore up the Diet Industry that is growing by leaps and bounds and making some people lots of money but getting the rest of us into an obese condition.  That kind of diet justifies those company‘s where you send for your meals  by the week and still don’t lose weight, except for the weight loss by the lightness of your pocketbook.  A diet for us is to squeeze an organic lemon into a cup of warm water and drink this when you first wake up in the mornings.  AND about 4pm squeeze four organic limes into a cup and drink it before you go off eating everything in sight.

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Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

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Posted in Bed & Breakfast, Bettina Homes, Bettina Network's Lifestyle Community, Bettina's Cookbook, Blog Response, Drug Stores, Food Shopping, Health, Health and Beauty, Pharmacy | No Comments »

Victoria Secret’s Beauty Tips We Beat!

Thursday, December 11th, 2014

copyright 2014 Bettina Network, inc.

Fresh from a very successful showing of their night clothes, articles are out about how to look like a Victoria Secret model:)  That is far from possible for most of us, not because we can’t improve but because the cost is prohibitive and we either don’t have the money or don’t want to spend the money we do have on a collection of chemicals.

If you are in that camp, we have a few family suggestions to achieve what we believe is better, longer lasting, and much more natural looking.

I saw a woman yesterday, who I talked to very briefly, because I couldn’t stop staring at her face.  The make-up was practically peeling off, or running down, she had on so much.  Unfortunately, she couldn’t see herself as others see her – especially in bright sunlight – because she is over 70 and her eyes are failing.  She sees a much lovelier person than is seen by the general public.  So for her and others in the same boat, we suggest the following:

1) For that beautiful, rosy underneath complexion – one that looks natural, makes you seem to glow from the inside out, and feeds and nourishes your skin at the same time so eventually that look becomes you without the additional help, we suggest you use Vitamin A Beta Carotene.  Clip a capsule and squeeze out the oil.  It cannot be a pill – it has to be the Vitamin A Beta Carotene in oil.

Squeeze the oil into your hand.  Rub it all over your face and give yourself a little massage.

Don’t freak out when you look in the mirror because your face will be a bright orange/red.  It wears off.  It is best to do this when you are alone and don’t expect visitors for a couple hours.  We don’t suggest you try this on days when you have to be out and about.  Unless you don’t mind stares and in that case, just smile sweetly.  You know you are going to look fabulous shortly so the stares won’t bother you.

Amazingly, wrinkles will soften and the orangey/red color will begin to fade away.  We try this at least once a week.

After about an hour, rinse your face thoroughly splashing it with water at least 20 times and wipe it dry.  Whatever you use to dry your face, make it  a rag you won’t mind losing because the rag will be stained the same color as your face.

Or, you can rinse your face and let it air dry – much preferable.  But if you go this route, you will have to rinse your face several times during the day.  Gradually most of the red color will have faded and by the next morning you will be ready to face the public.  Put an old pillow case on your pillows because if you haven’t removed all of the Vitamin A with Beta Carotene your pillows will begin to turn a blushing pink.  Your face will go from bright orangey/red to a bit ruddy complexioned, but that is the idea.  As time passes the ruddy complexion will be less and that rosy glow will come to the forefront.

Search Bettina Network’s Blog for the rest under “Health and Beauty”.

When you finish with our beauty regimen – liquid vitamin C, vitamin E, vitamin D, milk and more – you will be a stunning beauty and will have used not one chemical on your face.  In addition, all that you do using these ingredients will begin to heal the damage your have done to your skin using all of those chemicals and you will glow from your natural beauty.

We hope you realize that whatever you put on your skin shows up in your blood stream in seconds.  The common conception is that the skin barrier will keep all of those chemicals at bay.  However, they don’t get into your body through your skin, but through your blood stream.  At least that is what we have been told.

Have a great time dropping 20 years off your face and putting those Victoria Secret Models to shame.

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Learn More About How We Use Your Donation!

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Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

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Posted in Bed & Breakfast, Bettina Homes, Health, Health and Beauty | No Comments »

Steel Sharpens Steel

Wednesday, December 10th, 2014

Copyright 2014 Bettina Network, inc.

Friends and family!  What good are they!!!!!

This discussion over breakfast  started out with a guest in great emotional distress trying to keep the differences she was having with her mother out of sight, but her mother was at the table and had no interest in keeping anything out of sight.  It was a scene that I am sure is played out many times by many different people, cultures, races.

Her mother’s comment really struck me.  “My daughter doesn’t understand, but one day she will.  By that time I will be dead. — Steel sharpens steel.”

No one at the table understood her comment.  If they did, they certainly didn’t let on to anyone.

After looking at our blank and confused faces she went on and we appreciated her taking the time because it was a point of view and a look at friendship and family relationships we hadn’t considered, hadn’t dissected, hand’t even discussed.  That usually leads to a great breakfast conversation and this one did not disappoint.

“Steel sharpens steel.”  The mother – who I will call Mary – talked about how a child’s future is strongly set by their parental environment growing up.  Once grown, that environment becomes set by friends.  “Mary’ said she realized this when her daughter was about 3 years old.  She wanted her daughter to be a very independent woman.  She knew that somehow that was set during childhood, but she worried she would be one of those leading her daughter into the traditional female stereotype becoming the kind of person she had been – fulfilling every female stereotype – weak, overly emotional, a victim in all things.

Mary knew how hard it had been for her to overcome such home training and she did not want her daughter to have to go through the same heartbreaking rejection of her childhood and upbringing that she had been through.  Mary said she has since recaptured some of her early life and now value much that she initially rejected, but it was such a painful ordeal she just wanted to spare her daughter that grief.

Mary’s daughter was very uncomfortable at the table at this point because she knew her mother was about to reveal family secrets that she wanted kept that way.  And don’t we all!

Ed Note:  The rest of the blog as sent to us has been redacted.  Sorry folks, we know the good gossipy parts are what we all live to hear, but not this time!

The end of the conversation was quite moving.  I realized my own relationship with my family was not what it could have been because I wanted a relationship which wrapped me up all warm and cozy, comforted me, worked out all of my most difficult problems for me and in actuality, kept me in chains.  Instead, I had a relationship with my parents, as Mary had with her daughter, which strengthened all of us.  The problem is, Mary’s daughter does not understand the gift her mother has given her by being the steel which has strengthened and sharpened.  They are both now free to live as independent women because they had each other and maintained that most difficult relationship of all – one that was true, honest, full of mutual respect and which expected the other to be strong enough to withstand their back and forth as steel sharpened steel.

I saw that as an amazing breakfast because I didn’t recognize that gift from my parents either until that breakfast conversation.

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Learn More About How We Use Your Donation!

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______________________________________________________________

Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

 

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Posted in Bed & Breakfast, Bettina Homes, Breakfast Table Talk, Making Connections, Spiritual Reflection | No Comments »

The Rev. Dr. Lillian D. Anthony, my friend

Monday, December 1st, 2014

by: Marceline Donaldson, president

Bettina Network Foundation, inc.

 

There are some people one expects to go on forever, but none of us lives forever.

Lillian was a force of nature. Her strength came from the clear, truthful, fearless and love filled way she lived her life.

I have always called Lillian ‘my friend’, but as I look back over our lives I realize she was also one of my mentors from whom I learned a lot.

I met Lillian back in the l960’s in Minneapolis. She was challenging the City of Minneapolis about its lack of civil rights and was in the process of becoming the first head of one of the first city civil rights departments in the United States.

It was amazing for me – a young, southern, quiet, full of my early training.  A person who wore gloves everyplace and usually with an umbrella at hand, who had been trained to always remember who she was and act accordingly – to meet this woman who always knew who she was and she was neither quiet nor southern.

I was just coming out of a not so great marriage and trying to stand on my own two feet for the first time in life. I’d found a beautiful house I loved and tried to buy, but the owner declared he would not sell to an African American. I was furious; was not going to take such; and wasn’t sure where to go or what to do when someone suggested I call Lillian Anthony – which I did.

Lillian responded immediately. She was head of the newly established Minneapolis Department of Civil Rights starting in l968 and had some power to address what happened to me.

We met and talked and hit it off right away. Lillian went off to address the problem and in a couple days called and we met again. She told me the problem was solved, the owner had no problem selling the house to an African American woman and she knew that for sure because she’d just bought it.

We started to laugh, almost uncontrollably. It was a joke that was funny far beneath what was on the surface and so off we went on a lifetime of what can only be described as a hilarious friendship full of one-upmanship’s. When we met at social, civic, or other events we would point and laugh uproariously because we knew we were the sharpest looking people in the room. I knew I looked better than Lillian and she knew she looked better than me.

We often went shopping together – to estate sales, of course – but we had to fight to buy what we wanted because we always saw the same item at the same time and it was a free-for-all as to who got to it first.

I was invited to a meeting in Chicago in the early 1970’s of 100 Black Women and so was Lillian, who was one of the coordinators of that event. Once there I met Elma Lewis – who had not yet become Miss. Lewis. There was a skit in the room with all of us gathered and a woman dressed as a waitress came in with her clothes askew looking very stressed and disheveled, crying out – ‘help me, they shot him’.

No one in the room moved, except me, who jumped up to run to this woman to help her in her obvious distress, while telling everyone else in the room how they should be helping also. Elma wanted to know “who is that woman”. Lillian, who was sitting next to Elma said – that’s just Marceline. She is always in the middle of everything saving the world . Elma called me over to sit next to her and she and Lillian laughed and carried on – at my expense.

Turns out, the waitress was a part of the skit to see who would respond and to then start a discussion on being involved. However, that didn’t work because Lillian, Elma and I couldn’t stop laughing and just having a great time out of all of this.

That was the start of a great trio of friends. We weren’t together a lot, but when we did get together it was always a good time.

Lillian designed the Afro-American Studies Department at the University of Minnesota, becoming its first chairperson. She did an amazing job of helping to found the Department and headed it in a way which helped develop the entire field. No, Skip Gates was not the first and neither was Harvard.

Lillian ran into trouble at the University as Black men challenged her position which they thought should belong to an African American man who they claimed should have better credentials than Lillians’. So Lillian resigned and went off to the University of Massachusetts to obtain a Doctorate in Education. In addition she also served on the faculties of the University of Nebraska, George Mason University and Towson University in Maryland.

Even before all of this, Lillian went to seminary at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and received her Master of Religious Education in 1953 long before women were even beginning to see the possibility of a seminary education. Before that, Lillian received her undergraduate degree from Lincoln University in Jefferson City, MO.

After leaving seminary Lillian worked at Witherspoon Presbyterian Church as the director of religious education. A job most women found if they were lucky enough to finish their seminary education and find a job. The Church was way behind the society- still is today – in addressing the equality of men and women and Blacks, Hispanics and Native Americans.

Lillian also taught in Assuit, Egypt and was the North Central Area representative for the Commission on Ecumenical Mission and Relations of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)

Ordination was not possible then, even though God’s call to Lillian to the ordained ministry was strong,  so she went instead into Religious Education. Lillian did not ignore this call to ordination into the Presbyterian ministry, which wasn’t realized until decades after she turned to listen to what God was calling her to do. What was clear in Lillian’s life was that God calls and man decides to ignore God’s way and pursue his own, blocking the path of women and minorities. It was clear looking at Lillian’s life, that it is dangerous for men to block God’s call, but they never seem to get that message because they are still today blocking as best they can – only today being joined by a few others who are not White European males!

Before I met Lillian, she had served the Federal Government from 1965-1968 as the district director for the Department of Labor establishing anti-poverty programs in Minnesota and Wisconsin.

When I moved to Massachusetts, Lillian was already there at the University of Massachsuetts working on a doctorate in Education. She insisted I join her because she felt I would need something to fall back on and with a doctorate I could teach in Academia someplace.  I was not an academician, nor anything close and I decided that was not my path. She, Elma and I got together several times while Lillian was studying and both tried to push me into this doctorate business, but I resisted and took another path.

Several years after I moved to Massachusetts, Elma Lewis called to say she had heard from Lillian who was concerned about me because we hadn’t been in touch for quite some time and wanted Elma to make sure I was alright. They both knew my penchant for jumping into the fire and they both have had to pull me out several times.  According to Elma, there were rumors and they were worried about me.

Elma called me to say John Ross was picking me up to bring me to her house for lunch, but before he did he was going to take me on a tour of Boston. I told Elma I already knew Boston, had been living here for a few years and that was great, but I preferred lunch times to tour times. Elma said nothing and John Ross picked me up and took me on a tour of Boston. Elma was now Miss Lewis and you did her bidding.  John Ross asked all kinds of questions – how are you, what are you doing, are you alright financially, can we do anything for you, and on and on he went. I finally stopped him to ask why he was trying to get into my business. John Ross said he wasn’t he was just instructed by Elma to ask all of these questions because they needed to make sure I was alright and didn’t want me to say everything was fine – when we talked over lunch – and everything was not fine.

John Ross took me to Elma’s, where she was on the phone with Lillian and they both demanded I not stay out of touch for so long and whenever I had a problem of any kind they were just a phone call away.

That was a very emotional moment for me, but I knew that was how they both were and I must have had some kind of publicity or gossip which made them think they needed to circle the wagons.

Having had that kind of mentoring, I have tried to live up to their example and be there for others – although I have not been perfect following my mentors. I do fall away and still get busy with my own business and have missed many such opportunities presented to me by the universe.

One passion in Lillian’s life was ‘collecting’. It is a passion we both shared, but mine was about 18th century French furnishings, art objects, etc. Lillian’s was about collecting negative Black images throughout history. She had an amazing collection and her house – wherever it was – reflected this passion.

At one point in Louisville and again in St. Louis her home was a place classes of school children visited with their teachers to take the tour of Ms. Lillian’s home.

Oddly enough – or should I say expectedly enough – our two passions ran parallel because as Lillian became more knowledgeable about her area of collecting she ran across many objects which were from 18th century and beyond  in the time frame of my collecting and items made by some of the same people and companies I loved. Lillian knew about and owned items made by the Dresden, Meissen and other factories of negative Black images and while artistically exquisite the subject matter made you wonder about this use of the artists talent. I remember when Lillian bought a beautiful piece of Dresden china which depicted a Black child being born out of an alligators egg and others pieces that went downhill from there.

My thoughts about negative Black images had to do with the Aunt Jemima dolls and the Uncle Tom depictions, but they went far beyond those simple objects into incredible works of art meant to support the racism against African Americans in as many and as subtle and not so subtle ways as possible.

Lillian brought a part of her collection to Boston for an exhibit along with a program speaking to this form of maintaining the structure of racism. It was well attended and the curiosity and amazement from those who had my early thoughts about this area was astounding.

Lillian was head of the Afro American studies department in Louisville, Kentucky and moved to Maryland to become a professor in the same area at Towson University.

Her life and career extended across the country and in several institutions. She left each one better for having served there.

Lillian’s last job before retiring was as the associate for equal employment opportunity/affirmative action in the human resources department in the Prebbyterian Church’s national office in Louisville, Kentucky.

Lillian was also able to function as an ordained minister before her death and her sermons were memorable, moving and caused you to rethink who you are and how you were responding to God’s call in your life.

Lillian was clearly one of God’s chosen and never forgot that she was called by God to spend her life ministering to God’s people and she did that with love, compassion, fearlessness, dignity and grace.

She received many awards and honorary recognitions like the Mary McLeod Bethune Award, presented by the Louisville National Council of Negro Women. She was also appointed to the President’s Disability Task Force.

What many people did not know was that Lillian lived with Lupus most of her adult life. How she did all of what she did and dealt with a very debilitating disease we will never know. Lillian was never a victim and nothing that happened to her turned her into a victim. She was always a child of God who she believed was the active force in her life and to whom she owed everything.  She lived that life to the fullest – always.

Unfortunately for me, I did not stay as close to Lillian as a friend should and so my grief is not over the loss of a friend – who I know is celebrating with all of her friends right now having a joyous time – but over the loss of my opportunity and responsibility not to lose track of someone who I was close to and loved like a sister.

Through all of this I have learned that life and our society separates friends and families and thereby increases the burden on those we love and don’t keep up with because of our busyness trying to keep body and soul together.

Each time this happens I resolve to not let it happen ever again and then I hear of a close friend who has died and my guilt, regret and sense of great loss starts all over again.

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More on GRITS!!!!!

Tuesday, October 28th, 2014

copyright 2014 by Bettina Network, inc.

Wow! Grits being discussed as a serious topic.  Unbelievable.  Am I the only Yankee reading your blog?

I used to wonder what was the big deal about grits until I tasted the grits you have described and generously provided a recipe for.

Each time you add something I try it.  I thought the “Grits and Greens” were special.  That was just the introduction.

I would like to add my two cents to this discussion:

After leaving a Bettina Home with my stomach full of grits I went home, bought Arrowhead Mills Organic Grits and tried it for myself.  I started with grits and greens.  Came back to buy more grits and couldn’t believe those folks actually put “gluten free” on the box.  Didn’t know corn had gluten.

I tried your most recent recipe for grits and added the following:

After adding the 4 ounces of organic cream cheese I also added a package of frozen organic yellow corn and a 4 ounce package of raw organic sharp cheddar cheese.  I let them bubble awhile – stirred every once in a while until everything was combined nicely – and then ate the most fantastic pot of grits I’ve ever had.  I heartily recommend it to your readers.

Most people would talk about cutting the cheese into small cubes, etc. but i just put everything as it came from their packages into the pot and let them cook.  They melded on their own with just an occasional stirring from me.

What most surprised me was that I had a great dish without tons of butter.  You go girl!

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Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

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Playing with Words

Friday, October 24th, 2014

copyright 2014 Bettina Network, inc.

So much pops up at breakfast and gives one enormous amounts to think about and digest over the day.

This morning it was how heavily laced with superiority and inferiority are our words.

For example;

sympathy – This word came up because of a Bettina Network Blog a guest had read on Sin.

She wanted our feed-back on her thoughts and she got it in strong terms.

She was contrasting sympathy and empathy.  We all show sympathy to our friends, colleagues, family, strangers – we sympathize with many we don’t know and many who are close to us.  It keeps us in a superior position to them.  Sympathy is always shown between and among unequals. I sympathize with you because there but for the grace of God goes I.  For a brief moment, I can pull myself up to be heads taller than you when I find something within you and your life with which to sympathize.

empathy – however is a different concept and a different word.  It brings us into equality with our friends, colleagues, etc.

Isn’t it interesting that the word we use most often is sympathy and the word which is not even in most of our vocabularies is empathy.

We stay away from the family, of our friends who have just died because we don’t know what to say to them.  We want to sympathize with them, but the right words don’t come and we become all thumbs and stutters and awkward.  We have not yet learned the facile way to sympathize – bringing ourselves up above them because we are not in that position of grief.  Maybe being awkward and not knowing how to sympathize with someone is a good thing.

If one practices empathy one goes inside oneself and pulls up those experiences when we were in that place and we become one with the person with whom we are trying to relate through empathy.  In that circumstance there is no lack of what to say or do. It is easy to meet and comfort a friend or family member with whom we feel empathy or can empathize.

There are many such words in the English language – paired concepts.  The most common word of such a  pair is always the word/concept which elevates us above the rest.  The other half of the pair, which we rarely use, are  the word/concepts which make us equal to.

We spent an incredible time over breakfast coming up with these pairs and trying to correct the way we talk and relate.  Amazingly, it wasn’t very difficult, it was a conversation and an exercise we took to like ducts to water.

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Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

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Kale Chips – Bettina Style

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014

copyright 2014 Bettina Network, inc.

The hot new snack across the United States is Kale Chips.  They are beginning to come out in many versions – and are very expensive when purchased at food stores or anyplace else.

We tried for about a week to make them and have come up with a fantastic and healthy snack, which we make every day and which is eaten with not even a crumb left.

Buy organic green and/or red kale.  Make sure the leaves are perky, healthy looking and not limp.

Rinse the organic kale carefully.

Put it in a food spinner and push down on the top of the spinner for a couple minutes.  You need to make sure the organic kale is as dry as possible.

Pull the leaves of the organic kale off the stalks and put them on a cookie tray.  A large cookie tray is better.

Make sure you have only one layer of organic kale on the tray – don’t pile the organic kale onto the cookie tray making several layers because you won’t get a good result.  If you have more than enough for one layer – either wait to bake the rest or use two cookie trays.

Pour a bit of organic cold pressed olive oil over the organic kale.

Follow this with a sprinkling of himalayan salt, cayenne pepper and Tekka.

We have had great luck with tekka over popcorn and decided to give it a try over organic kale and it makes a huge difference.  Be careful with the salt.  The tendency is to use too much and then you run into the problem of having an addictive snack because the salt will grab your taste buds (and your blood pressure.)  Less is more is the guideline.

Put the cookie tray in the oven at 300 degrees for about an hour.

Take your fantastic organic kale snack out of the oven.  Use a spatula to get it off the tray and serve on a beautiful pedestal cake plate.

And NO! You don’t have to wait for it to cool, it is ready for eating straight out of the oven.

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Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

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The Listening Ear

Monday, October 20th, 2014

“Give me the listening ear.  I seek this day the ear that will not shrink from the word that corrects and admonishes  –  the word that holds up before me the image of myself that causes me to pause and reconsider -the word that challenges me to deeper consecration and higher resolve – the word that lays bare needs that make my own days uneasy, that seizes upon every good decent impulse of my nature, channeling it into paths of healing in the lives of others.

Give me the listening ear.  I seek this day the disciplined mind, the disciplined heart, the disciplined life that makes my ear the focus of attention through which I may become mindful of expressions of life foreign to my own.

I seek the stimulation that lifts me out of old ruts and established habits which keep me conscious of my self, my needs, my personal interests.

Give me this day – the eye that is willing to see the meaning of the ordinary, the familiar, the commonplace – the eye that is willing to see my own faults for what they are – – the eye that is willing to see the likable qualities in those I may not like   – the mistake in what I thought was correct – the strength in what I had labeled as weakness

Give me the eye that is willing to see that Thou has not left Thyself without a witness in every living thing.

Thus to walk with reverence and sensitiveness through all the days of my life.

Give me the listening ear

The eye that is willing to see.”

Howard Thurman

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Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

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GRITS/RICE – A Great Addition

Wednesday, October 15th, 2014

Thanks for your recipe for Creole Grits.

I would like to make an addition, which we have used for quite a long time and feel it has added to our family’s health and good looks:)

Once the water has started to boil, add a heaping tablespoon of Organic Turmeric, preferably the kind with active curcumin which you can get from Frontier Coop, among other places.

Don’t put in the Organic Turmeric before the water comes to a boil, that would be a waste of its active ingredients.  Don’t put in the Orlganic Turmeric and then bring the water to a boil, that is not an option if you want to enjoy whatever health benefits you can get from the curcumin in the Organic Turmeric.  Then cook the grits as usual.  Their color will intensify and look very healthy.

We also put Organic Turmeric in rice when the water boils and just at the point where we put the rice into the pot.  It also intensifies the color of the rice, but we find that a distinct improvement.

If you are not sure what kind of Organic Turmeric to buy, call Frontier Coop and ask for Megan.

I love your blog.  Keep up the good work.  Sending you this blog is the first time I have used my membership in Bettina Network’s Lifestyle Community and will probably begin to get more involved.

Before I wrote this blog to you I checked your visitors’  counter and am really impressed that in one day you had over 2,000 reading the blog.

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Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

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Describe Sin!

Monday, October 13th, 2014

copyright 2014 Bettina Network, inc.

We had an interesting question over breakfast and an even more interesting answer.

The question was – can you describe sin?

The answer was – sin is the lack of empathy no matter how or where it surfaces.  The most common way it surfaces is in racism and sexism, but it is prevalent in all areas of society, anyplace where human beings live and in anything we do and in any way we function.

The conversation went on – what is the most painful experience in the world?

The answer was – lack of empathy.

Why?  – Because we are all connected and someone showing/feeling lack of empathy towards another human being has let go of, cut off that connectedness and experiences moving off into the darkness and un-known-ness of space alone to experience the cold, depression, addiction, extreme loneliness of one cut off from him or herself.

Does everyone experience lack of empathy?

The answer was – yes, at some time or other and in different degrees.

Is there an antidote?

The answer was – yes, but I don’t know what it is.

The question was – how do we know we are experiencing lack of empathy?

The answer was – by the strength of our denial when confronted with our lack of empathy.

It was a very strange and intense conversation and we hope the above captures it to pass its content along.

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Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

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GRITS – Creole Style

Thursday, October 9th, 2014

copyright Bettina Network, inc. 2014 – by Marceline Donaldson

I have had several requests for my grits recipe.  Sorry it has taken so long to respond, but I really didn’t want to share this family secret. I have two recipes that I hold close. One is the oyster dressing recipe for Thanksgiving turkey that I have already shared and this one for grits.  It is simple to make, but as a child my day started with grits for breakfast and I have many great breakfast memories that I keep to myself.

1) Use only organic grits.  We use grits from Deaf Smith County and Arrowhead Mills.  Why Deaf Smith County?  The claim is that they are the only place in the United States where you can get food grown in soil which does not have a DDT residue.  I don’t know if that is true or not, but I choose to believe there is at least one place in this country free of all the stuff we poured into our soil poisoning us and the soil.

2)  Put one cup grits into four cups water.  Add one teaspoon Himalayan Salt.  Sometimes I only use 3 1/2 cups water if I want grits with more substance.  Stir with a wire whisk for a couple minutes to make sure you don’t have lumps and then stir occasionally with a large spoon.  The grits can cook over low heat for as long as you want to cook the grits.  The longer, the better, but nothing under 1/2 hour.

3) About ten minutes into the cooking process add four ounces of either a) organic creole cream cheese (preferred), b) organic cream cheese or c) neufchâtel cheese if you want something with less fat.  Put in the cream cheese and after letting it cook with the grits about five to ten minutes, stir until the cream cheese and grits become one.  And no, I am not giving out my recipe for creole cream cheese.

Some people use milk instead of water in their grits, but I find this a bit heavy.  Others drown their grits in butter, but I think this kills the taste of the grits.  You are using grits as a way to eat butter.

Enjoy!

What’s great about these grits – they can be reheated and you can’t tell the freshly cooked grits from the reheated grits.

To reheat.  Put the pot over a very low light and let it simmer until it looks the way it did when it was first cooked.  This will take about 20 minutes or more.

AND ALWAYS – ALWAYS cook your grits in a glass pot.  I keep a large stash of Corning pots.  My sense of security needs lots of Corning pots in all shapes and sizes, especially for stove top cooking when cast iron skillets are not appropriate for the food I am cooking.

Serve it with all kinds of things – creole shrimp; mushrooms cooked in balsamic vinegar; poached eggs served on top of the grits.  You are only limited by your imagination and the part of the country in which you were born and raised.  The classic is grits, ham and eggs.  If you are from the Carolinas and that part of the U. S. you will drool over and want to add red eye gravy.  If you are from New Orleans you will turn your nose up at putting this coffee-based gravy over your grits.  You also can’t serve grits without biscuits.  I have moved to making my biscuits with organic sprouted wheat flour – they are fantastic, although sometimes I just have to go back to biscuits with organic whole wheat flour.

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Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

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IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

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“Do Not Be Afraid”

Monday, October 6th, 2014

What follows is a link to a sermon preached on October 5, 2014 in Harvard’s Memorial Chapel by Rev. Jonathan Walton.  It quotes a powerful poem written by Dr. Benjamin E. Mays, past president of Morehouse College.  We recommend a quiet space to listen to this very powerful sermon which addresses a lot of what ails us personally and as a society.

http://www.harvardmemorialchurch.org/media/sermon_audio/sermon_10.05.14_walton.mp3

A guest at breakfast quoted this poem in a most powerful way as he tried to sum up the sermon he had just heard.  He was especially moved on hearing the sermon since the poem was one he’d heard many times over his life and one which he committed to memory because he found it so moving.  What he found so moving was the context in which the Rev. Walton used the poem in his sermon.  We thought our guest should turn professional because his delivery added to the profoundness of the poem

 

For you – the poem is reprinted here:

“Life Is Just A Minute

Life is just a minute—only sixty seconds in it.
Forced upon you—can’t refuse it.
Didn’t seek it—didn’t choose it.
But it’s up to you to use it.
You must suffer if you lose it.
Give an account if you abuse it.
Just a tiny, little minute,
But eternity is in it!”

By Dr. Benjamin Elijah Mays, Past President of Morehouse College

Ed Note:  Sorry for all the “powerfuls” in this blog.  Couldn’t find another word to fit.

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Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

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Posted in Bed & Breakfast, Bettina Homes, Bettina Network's Lifestyle Community, Bettina's Hall of Fame, Breakfast Table Talk, Guest comments | Comments Off on “Do Not Be Afraid”

Problem Feet

Wednesday, October 1st, 2014

copyright Bettina Network, inc. 2014

I read your blog on ‘Old Feet’.  I thought it was great.  I would change your title from “Old Feet’ to “Problem Feet.”  Most women have a problem with their feet, usually caused by the fashion shoes we wear and as the years pass the stress on those feet from the high fashion shoes increases and puts lots of stress on the body.

I tried your exercises and they work wonders.  Combined with the exercises – and I think you may have this someplace else in your blog – I discovered soaking my feet in Organic Apple Cider.  It was a god-send.  I soaked my feet in a pail with 1/2 quart organic apple cider and I could then go dancing in any kind of shoes.  And – I have gotten so accustomed to those feet exercises that I find I do them unconsciously now whenever a few minutes turns up and I have either no stockings on or am waiting for some reason sitting in a chair in some office.  I take my feet out of my shoes and sit there exercising my toes.  (Yes, I am young enough to have jettisoned panti -hose.) The reaction of the people around me was hilarious.  People stare, but I have become immune to caring about what people think.  I have come to realize that we will suffer much to ‘fit in’ and not be considered ‘odd’.  Somehow, I have escaped this and am enjoying my lonely position immensely.

I was exercising my toes and feet without thinking and another woman came over to ask if I didn’t want to put my shoes back on?  Before I could shut my mouth, which had dropped open with her comment/question, a man sitting next to me was taking off his shoes and socks following my example.  Maybe we can change the world – although that woman will probably be the opposition trying to keep things as they are and us with all of our inhibitions.  It feels so great to get rid of even one and realize you are not alone, but others around are just waiting to follow your lead.

After soaking my feet for at least 1/2 hour, not only did my feet feel great, but the rest of me had energy for several days.  It was magical the way my feet responded to that Organic Apple Cider Vinegar.  I also use it as a softener for my clothes.  So I put in a load of clothes, added the organic apple cider vinegar to the softening cycle, put the rest of the quart bottle of apple cider vinegar in a pail of very warm water, sat back with Egbert Tolle’s book and enjoyed a fantastic morning and was more than ready for the afternoon’s activities.  And NO! You cannot substitute White Vinegar.  It is a coal tar derivative or some such thing and not a substitute for anything.  I don’t even use White Vinegar to clean my house.  Only Organic Apple Cider Vinegar does the job.

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Learn More About How We Use Your Donation!

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______________________________________________________________

Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

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Balm in Gilead

Sunday, August 24th, 2014

copyright Bettina Networi, inc. 2014

Who would have expected different guests, not previously known to one another,  pick up and read Sarah Lawrence Lightfoot’s book “Balm In Gilead” during their stay in a Bettina Home.

All of our homes have large quantities of books.  Host families generally buy them at Estate Sales for very little money so they are able to offer great reading materials to and  encourage guests to take a book home with them if they are in the process of reading it and would like to finish the book.

We have such responsible guests that they do take books home and when they return, they bring new books they have purchased the same way, giving them to the host family for other guests to discover.  What a lovely interlude!

Lightfoot’s book brought some wonderful reminiscences by the guests.  The first days conversation, one woman shared the book with the other guests and on the second day, all contributed because they found the book in their rooms and read it.  It was an unexpected gift for me because I knew the family and the southern United States that was under discussion.

Mostly, the book caused the women (no men present) to go over their history rather than critique the book.

One critique, however, was what one woman felt as the author’s anti-southern bias, which she said permeated the book.  It talked of relatives going South as a ‘missionary field’ to raise the educational standards of the poor Blacks in the South.  That caused a discussion of great emotion since racially the women at breakfast were a mixed group and all but one from the north.  That left the poor lone Southerner with only me as back-up and sometimes I can’t be trusted to be loyal.

The truth of life among Blacks in the South is very seldom portrayed accurately.  Just like those who most profited from slavery is often skewered with slavery’s  Northern interests very seldom revealed.

The Northern women – both Black and White – understood the books bias and didn’t see it as a bias, but as fact.  One small part of “Balm in Gilead” describes Margaret and Charles Lawrence, with their very substantial education at top schools not able to find a job in the north and so consequently going south to Fisk and Meharry.  The author (their daughter) didn’t seem to know why or rather described the Lawrences as not knowing why.  What most Southern Blacks would understand is that -in the day – when you had that top rated education you went South for a job because you were not hired in the North.  Black millionaires and other very financially substantial African Americans were Black Southerners or Black Northerners transplanted to the South because they had no place else to thrive.

A veery famous Black New England family moved to Alabama from Boston and worked there in substantial jobs until retirement when they returned to New England and took up their Yankee existence without missing a beat.  They moved to Alabama because even with a Harvard Doctorate there were no jobs for them in the North.

There was much talk about “Victory over trauma” – which was portrayed as one way African Americans can survive this society almost intact.  “Trauma and strength.”

One particular quote, read to us by one of the women was very poignant.  “In order to survive one must confront the deep wound, experience the knifelike pain, move through the zombielike period of ‘depersonalization’ speak about the event, act it out, cry over it, stomp on it and finally emerge from it – usually with a scar.”

“One must transcend.  Pain must not be the victor.”

In part of the conversation about Black Anger – “Anger nurtures until you can find more suitable vehicles out of which to act and to love.”

Black male sexism – “He did not denigrate my path, but he blocked it.”

“My mother gave me away to my grandmother.”  Since I was raised by my grandmother, when they gave that quote from the book as a way of describing the phenomena of grandparents raising their grandchildren tears flowed from a couple of us.

There was so much more.  To get the entire story you must read the book.  We recommend it heartily.

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______________________________________________________________

Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

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Posted in African American history, Bed & Breakfast, Bettina Homes, book review, Breakfast Table Talk, Class in America and the World, Preserving Family History and Stories | Comments Off on Balm in Gilead

Making Old Feet New Again!

Friday, July 25th, 2014

copyright Bettina Network, inc. 2014

I love breakfast in a Bettina Home.  No matter how horrible I feel arriving, I leave refreshed.

The last breakfast from my most recent stay was great!  The food is always good, but the conversation unbelievable.  I am going home to work on my feet so I can wear high heels again.  I have a closet full of shoes, which are sitting idly on the floor collecting dust and drying out because it hurts so badly to wear them.  The shoes I can wear are so ugly they ruin every outfit I put on.

Would you believe old women at breakfast having a hilariously good time about a conversation over feet?

One woman, who was 80 years old if she was a day, had on these really elegant shoes with high heels in which she was going to spend the day.  I advised her to take another pair with her in a bag of some kind because she was going to be finished for the day before she reached her car.  She just looked at me shaking her head.

The next morning we were all back around the table and I was packed and ready to go.  Before leaving, however, I wanted to know how her day went since she was back at the table in another pair of really fantastic shoes – high heels, of course.  She said her day went just fine, like all her days and suggested I learn to deal with my feet if I wanted to get back into something other than the slip slops I had on.  Expensive flip flops, but no support, no heels and comfortable as could be.

She took off her shoes and her panty hose, as we all howled with laughter, and we went through her exercise regime.  We all shed our shoes, but she was the only one wearing panty hose.  She said she wears them for the girdle effect she gets from the panty part – doesn’t want her tummy to ‘pout’.  We had on ankle length stockings or knee hi’s under pants.  She was clearly from a generation that dressed to the nine’s and she still did with a great figure, beautiful hair and my jealousy is really showing since I am about 20 years younger than she is – at least – and she looks younger.

I really don’t exercise any part of my body – especially my feet.  Who would think of foot exercises as being relevant or doing the body any good?  My bias is showing, but really, I have enough trouble keeping my energy level up to just getting up in the mornings, let alone complicating my life with exercise.

This woman exercises her feet before going to bed at night and before getting up in the mornings.  She widens her toes as far as possible  – spread them open like a fan – and closes them while she watches television or reads.  She also makes circles with her feet going clock-wise and then counter clock -wise moving her feet in these circles from the ankle and sometimes she does the spread-the-toes with both feet at the same time and the circles with both feet at the same time.

We were sitting around the table exercising our feet making sure we got it right.  Unreal!  Must be losing it because I was very avid about doing this and intend to go home and take up this exercise every night and morning.  Nice that I can do these exercises before getting out of bed in the mornings.  Maybe that will help me be diligent about it.

Before I showed up at a Bettina Home I was a little depressed about my feet becoming so old and stiff,  limiting my shoe wearing possibilities. ,  so this did cheer me up a little bit!  I wanted to take pictures, but the women were adamant they didn’t want their feet showing up in  pictures anyplace – so respecting that – and you certainly aren’t going to see my naked feet in pictures, you will have to imagine the scene.

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______________________________________________________________

Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

 

 

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Posted in Bed & Breakfast, Bettina Homes, Breakfast Table Talk, Foot Exercises, Growing Old, Guest comments, Health, Health and Beauty | Comments Off on Making Old Feet New Again!

Eggs and Lime

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014

copyright 2014 Bettina Network, inc.

We made a wonderful discovery at breakfast – and we have to thank a guest from Mexico for the new information.

Breakfast consisted of soft-boiled eggs in egg cups, which is one of our favorite breakfasts.  Our guest remarked that she loved soft-boiled eggs for breakfast, but was accustomed to eating them with a bit of lime juice.  My stomach wrenched.  I could not fathom putting lime juice in a soft-boiled egg.

Fortunately, we had organic limes in the refrigerator so we brought them out and watched.

She cut the lime into four pieces, then  cut off the top of her egg.   Before putting in her spoon to eat the egg, she squeezed the 1/4 piece of lime into the top of the egg with a little salt and enjoyed her breakfast immensely. What came to mind as I watched was Margaritas.

We decided we would have to be polite and follow suit.  I was prepared to have to push down the eggs while trying to smile at this inconceivable new taste combination.   I could not conceive it as being anything but really horrible – at best, something for which you would have to acquire a taste.  It is one thing to have been raised on this taste combination, quite another to have it sprung on you brand new at breakfast, the time of morning when your stomach cannot handle many new taste sensations.

Imagine my surprise when I had my first spoonful of the egg, doused in lime juice, and it was fantastic.  I don’t think I will ever have soft-boiled eggs again without lime juice.  It lightened the taste of the egg considerably and gave it a light, exceptional taste which even topped the fact that the eggs were already great because they were organic, super large eggs.

From here on, you will find organic limes on the table whenever we serve soft-boiled eggs!!!

Is this how cultures pass information from one to another in today’s very mobile society?  May it continue and accelerate – bring on the next new taste sensation!!!

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Learn More About How We Use Your Donation!

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______________________________________________________________

Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

 

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French Pancakes Breakfast

Thursday, July 3rd, 2014

I know which house served those ‘pancakes’.  They are really a different take on New Orleans’ favorite dish – bananas foster.  All you left out was bringing the crepe wrapped bananas to the table in a flaming dish.  Now that would be something to see.  The next time I show up at your house will you make that breakfast?

From Host Family: – NO!

Well, maybe!

Possibly!

If you don’t tell which house I will make the crepes for you.  They are really good!  Hadn’t made the connection.  I guess we have our past in our heads and hearts and it comes out in the strangest ways. Thanks!

Ed Note:  For those of you who did not read that blog check out Bettina’s Cookbook and scroll through to the breakfast featuring French Pancakes.  They are not to be missed.

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______________________________________________________________

Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

 

 

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How Exciting is This!!!!!

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

Sometimes life gives you lemons, sugar and beautifully clear water all at the same time and all mixed together ready for you to drink.

That is how we feel this morning in Bettina Networks little community.

Why?

Something very small, but very important in the way we live and are with each other.

At the end of a Bettina estate sale, everything left goes to the Bettina Network Foundation and we look for those who are in need and work with them to help them establish a better, more productive lifestyle.  We prefer helping those who are recently homeless, because they have the greater need.

Well, one such person established a new policy with these sales.  It is called “When you are given something, give back.”  No matter how little you have you can always find a way to give to others.

One young woman, in difficult circumstances, was given a dining room table and chairs from one of our sales – something that didn’t sell.  She called the person from Bettina’s who gave her the gift and said “I would like to help on your next sale.”  And help she did.  She didn’t help in the actual sale, she helped during those evening hours after the sale when we pack and move what is left to clean out the house and leave it ‘broom clean’ for the next inhabitants.

We couldn’t have finished our last sale without her help.  What she did was to make it possible for someone else to receive a gift as she had and to make sure the gifts could continue to be given because we were fulfilling our obligations to those who were ultimately providing these gifts.

At the end of her work evening – and she worked unbelievably hard – she decided she wanted to join our small band permanently.  She liked what we did – the way we were with each other – and felt she had a lot to contribute.

She also wholeheartedly joined the rest of us who do this work for the benefits of weight loss and the exercise it provides.  We don’t have to join a gym to work out we have our own calisthenics and weight loss machines to help us reduce fat and move it around the body from one place to another:)   I won’t give her name.  You will see her around Bettina Network activities and hope you will reach out to embrace another human being who has decided it is time for all of us to look out for each other – without agendas.

We all need to give back.  No matter how independent we think we are and no matter how strongly we consider ourselves ‘self-made’.

Sometimes, we just don’t know how to give back or to who.   Well, Bettina Network Foundation is providing a way for you to do that.  Join us and help us to help more people get their lives on a new footing.  We are lawyers, doctors, management, sales people, bankers, therapists, psychiatrists and the very young learning to live in a way that we thrive realizing and committing ourselves to make sure that others thrive also.

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Learn More About How We Use Your Donation!

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______________________________________________________________

Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

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Posted in A Scattering Sale, An editorial just because, An Estate Sale, Bettina Homes, Bettina Network Foundation, Bettina Network Info, Bettina Network NEWS, Bettina Network's Lifestyle Community, Estate Sale Analysis and Info, Moving Sale, Shopping, Thought for the Day | Comments Off on How Exciting is This!!!!!

Bettina Network Foundation

Thursday, June 19th, 2014

We are working with an attorney to finalize the Bettina Network Foundation and to shepherd it through a 501(c)3 filing.

If you have asked Bettina Network to manage your Estate Sale, or Moving Sale or Scattering Sale or Antique Sale you know there are two parts to the sale and when it is over everything left is handled by Bettina Network as we work towards leaving the house “Broom Clean” because either it has been sold; the people have deceased and this is one step in the process of settling an estate or etc.

What happens to those ‘left overs’.

That is one of the exciting parts of the sale.  At the end of the sale Bettina Network takes everything left and oversees those items getting directly to people who are newly in a home from homelessness.  We make sure all of the items go to help furnish the new home of someone or several someones who need all of the things which make life comfortable.

That is a very important step for those leaving a life of living on the street to living in an apartment or other kind of home.  They need everything and we try to help provide that by working with those who have vetted people to whom we give the items left over from a sale.

Hopefully, when our 501(c)3 comes through we will be able to give a receipt to the people who have given us their items left over from a sale, which they can include in their federal tax return as a deduction.

There are those who have reached the status of “Gold” members of Bettina Network Foundation  because of what they have given and the spirit in which they have given to others.

To know more about what we do to give back – click on the Foundation link on the Bettina Network web site.  It is in the process of being updated, but should contain more information shortly.

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Learn More About How We Use Your Donation!

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______________________________________________________________

Want to join us? Have a home that you want to open to become one of Bettina Network’s Hedge Schools? Call us and lets talk – or email us.

Ed. Note: Members of the Bettina Network Lifestyle Community can contribute to the Bettina Network Blog whenever they have anything they want to say and be heard by this fantastic group of people. Send your blog to bettinanetwork@comcast.net or mail it to us at P. O. Box 380585 Cambridge, MA. 02238 or call us on the telephone at 617-497-9166 to tell us what you want to say and we will write it for you.

Volunteer with Bettina Network Foundation, inc. to work estate sales; to help move items from one home to another; to contribute your ideas on how we can better use our resources in this effort to relieve and eliminate homelessness and poverty. We also need photographers; designers; and more. However much or little time you have, we are grateful.

Send your event information to be included in Bettina Network’s Menu of Events to: bettina-network@comcast.net

This is a curated blog so you cannot write your responses at the end of each entry. TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email bettina-network@comcast.net or info@bettina-network.com

TO LEARN MORE about Bettina Network, inc. try www.bettina-network.com

IF YOU ENJOY OUR BLOG, USE OUR SERVICES TO BOOK ACCOMODATIONS WHEN YOU TRAVEL!

1-800-347-9166 inside the U. S. or 617 497 9166 outside or inside the U. S.

 

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Posted in An Estate Sale, Bettina Homes, Bettina Network Info, Bettina Network NEWS, Bettina Network's Lifestyle Community, Estate Sale Analysis and Info | Comments Off on Bettina Network Foundation

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